Thursday, February 25, 2010

Where are we going again? A look at Deuteronomy 8

A couple weeks back I posted about Deuteronomy 8:7. It really is a beautiful scripture.

For the Lord your God is bringing you to a good land, a land with streambeds (full of) water, springs and deep rivers flowing out from the valleys and the hills. (my translation)

This text and that immediately following are an example of God's desire to lavish provision on his people. The abundance of water, crops and minerals indicate a significant source of life and provision for their future. God had miraculously rescued Israel from slavery in Egypt and sustained them through forty years in the desert. He was now preparing to bring them into this land of promise. The verb "bringing" connotes ongoing rather than definitive activity. He has provided and sustained in difficult times, all the while preparing for this point of promise fulfillment. The land God has prepared for them is described as a "good land," full of good thing. The abundance of water is an indication that the land was a place they could flourish. The abundance of water is a welcome respite and a source of hope for those who have only known the arid climate of the wilderness. This verse indicates that God’s desire to bless and provide for his people flows as strong as the water promised to them in this new land.

God's promise here is profound. He sustained the Israelites through drought and slavery, simultaneously protecting and preparing them for the ultimate fulfillment of His covenant pledge. The final destination, the place to which God has been drawing them throughout this process, is overflowing with good things.

Deuteronomy is a message to God's covenant people and the promise is made to them as they end their time in the desert and prepare to take a hold of the promise made many generations ago to Abram. Believers generally consider heaven to be the "promised land" in the new covenant under Christ. It's often difficult to consider this world as the utopia described in this scripture. We see and hear about horrible tragedies and pervasive adversity on a daily basis. Brokenness is all around.

I wonder what the Israelites thought of God's promises as the labored in slavery to the Egyptians. I wonder if they questioned God's promise. I sure would have. We get a glimpse their reaction in Exodus 4:31. Moses returns to his people and tells them all that God has told him and shown him. They recognize that God was concerned about them and had seen their misery. They bowed down and worshiped him.

We don't always see it. In fact, there are times where there is nothing that we see that would register God's action in the events of our own lives or in the world. But here in Deut. 8:7, we see that God’s design is good and his activity in the course of life is palpable and continuous. It springs forth as a stream that will not dry up, flowing out of the deep well of God’s own character. We can trust God's character. When we can't see it, when the provision we need seems distant or non-existant, God is still working to accomplish his will.

Monday, February 22, 2010

The thing I was meant to do

I recently finished reading Traveling with Pomegranates. The authors, mother-daughter team of Sue Monk Kid and Ann Kidd Taylor, have written insightfully of their own journeys, both spiritual and physical.

As each story progressed, I found myself with much in common with Ann, at the time of the story a recent college grad trying to find her place and passion in life. A rejection letter from the graduate school of her choice catapulted her into a time of reevaluation. During this season, the voices of failure seemed to speak loudly to her, sending her into a season of depression. Over time, and with the support of her mother and boyfriend, she absorbs this loss and learns from it. Yet, finding and following her heart are no easy task. As she struggles with her calling, she makes an discerning observation, "Whatever it is I'm born to do, my fear of failing at it has almost become greater than my desire to figure out what it is." (p. 186) I've rolled this sentence over in my mind constantly since reading it. These could be my words. They definitely describe my thoughts.

She embraces her call - writing - and diligently works to develop her skills. The culmination is the publication of this book, the story of travels and of finding oneself. But just so people don't walk away thinking the resolution came easy, she notes in the conclusion that the book was published several years after the completion of their trips and her own personal discovery. She navigated the early years of marriage, the birth of her son and continued to nurse her own dreams until the time comes that she's ready.

Walking vicariously along on the journeys of this mother-daughter team, I was challenged to consider my own story. The various demands of time and attention appear to be a diversion, something in the way of achieving a dream. The desire to follow my own call seems at odds with the family I have chosen. But when I consider the pondering of Ann in the quote above, I realize that what I was born to do naturally and fundamentally includes both my personal dreams and the dreams I'm co-creating with my family. They are not divorced from each other, but somehow integrally woven together.

So it is with dreams. As much as most of us would love to have them come about in a vacuum, free of distraction, they work themselves out in the mundane of day to day life. It doesn't make it easy, but it certainly has its own reward!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Visiting Day 1

Today was the first of what I have dubbed our "visiting days." For the first time since leaving Grace, we worshiped with a new faith community.

Before traipsing through the snow, we gathered close in our car and said a quick prayer. We then proceeded up the long brick walk to the old high school building in which the church meets, a massive brick structure with ornate columns framing the expansive front doors. The building certainly has a presence about it. We had arrived early, so once we arrived we had a bit of time to look around. Shortly, we were greeted by one of the lead pastors, who walked us down to the children's area. We checked the kids in and proceeded to the service.

While worshiping, a deep sense of peace and joy enveloped me. We have just begun this journey. This will not be our last stop, but it could be. That in itself was a significant message to us today.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Mothering

I recently wrote a letter to a friend who is expecting her first child. I remember my first pregnancy. It was such a wonderful, special time. It was full of wonder and anticipation.

I had a difficult time writing the letter. I don't know how to put words on a page that describe what it is to be a parent, what it is to be a mother. It is beautiful and there are moments where that place of perfection is overwhelming. There are also moments when it is nothing like I ever dreamed it would be. It's messy, humbling, insanely repetitive. Mothering challenges my own selfishness. It can be difficult.

This week has been one of those where the beauty plays a secondary role to the the requirements I never expected. Those things I didn't think I had the strength for require strength from me. And somehow it happens. I'm able to do what I didn't think possible. Maybe that's the really amazing thing about being a mother. Somehow we draw power, wisdom and stamina to do what needs to be done on behalf of the lives entrusted to our care.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Where are we going again? A look at Deuteronomy 8

I distinctly remember being 15 years old and sitting in my room in our little rental house in Missoula, MT. The carpet as an old green shag and the window looked out to a pretty garden and the hills just outside the city. I opened my Bible, daring God to show me that he actually had a plan in the chaos of my life. We were just a couple nights away from our 3rd move in 2 years. That would be four different states and a total of five different Junior High and High Schools in that same period. I was angry and overwhelmed.

I flicked the Bible open to Deuteronomy, thinking God was going to have a pretty rough time talking to me through THAT book of the Bible. Little did I know...

I opened up to Deuteronomy 8 and stopped at verse 7, utterly amazed at what I read.

I am bringing you to a good land; a land of stream beds full of water, a land of springs and deep rivers flowing out from the valleys and the hills.
(my translation).

That's one moment in my life that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God cared about me. I was an insecure, self-absorbed, desperate teen and God cared enough about me to meet me in that corner room with the shag carpet, to comfort me and let me know that despite the unknown and my personal fears, God was bringing me to a good place. And it was just that. It was a good place.

In the book of Deuteronomy, the people are called to "remember" what God has done for them over and over again. God had miraculously worked on behalf of the Hebrew people in bringing them out of Egypt, in providing for them in the wilderness and was now preparing them to enter the land of promise. The call to remember was essentially a call to worship. Remembering what God has done plays the same role in our lives. As I look into our future wondering what it will entail and feel those same sensations of insecurity I did way back when, I also remember the times God met me and guided me in the past. I can trust God. I know that the place I am going will be a "good land."

More thoughts on Deuteronomy 8 to come...

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Trying this again!

I'm taking up blogging again. The reality is that life has been busy and blogging simply had to fall of the list.

We're entering a new stage of life at the moment and frankly, I need blogging again. Even as an introvert, I'm an external processor.

Sunday was our last day as official members of the church we've been part of for the last 11 years. It was the church we came to as newlyweds and the church that each of our children have grown up in. It was the community of believers I imagined us being part of for years to come. Through a series of events and emotions, both my husband and I came to the conclusion that God has closed this chapter of our life and it is time to embark on a new leg of the journey.

Did I mention that I enjoy comfortable surroundings and really don't relish change?

I am actually quite excited. We sincerely love the faith community we've been a part of. They have contributed to our lives and our spiritual development in amazing ways. We're excited about the future, though. We're taking some time "off" to pray and evaluate what it is that God is directing us towards. We're excited to include the kids in this process.

So, I'll be sharing the steps we take along the journey. This will again be my "stopping spot."