The thing I was meant to do

I recently finished reading Traveling with Pomegranates. The authors, mother-daughter team of Sue Monk Kid and Ann Kidd Taylor, have written insightfully of their own journeys, both spiritual and physical.

As each story progressed, I found myself with much in common with Ann, at the time of the story a recent college grad trying to find her place and passion in life. A rejection letter from the graduate school of her choice catapulted her into a time of reevaluation. During this season, the voices of failure seemed to speak loudly to her, sending her into a season of depression. Over time, and with the support of her mother and boyfriend, she absorbs this loss and learns from it. Yet, finding and following her heart are no easy task. As she struggles with her calling, she makes an discerning observation, "Whatever it is I'm born to do, my fear of failing at it has almost become greater than my desire to figure out what it is." (p. 186) I've rolled this sentence over in my mind constantly since reading it. These could be my words. They definitely describe my thoughts.

She embraces her call - writing - and diligently works to develop her skills. The culmination is the publication of this book, the story of travels and of finding oneself. But just so people don't walk away thinking the resolution came easy, she notes in the conclusion that the book was published several years after the completion of their trips and her own personal discovery. She navigated the early years of marriage, the birth of her son and continued to nurse her own dreams until the time comes that she's ready.

Walking vicariously along on the journeys of this mother-daughter team, I was challenged to consider my own story. The various demands of time and attention appear to be a diversion, something in the way of achieving a dream. The desire to follow my own call seems at odds with the family I have chosen. But when I consider the pondering of Ann in the quote above, I realize that what I was born to do naturally and fundamentally includes both my personal dreams and the dreams I'm co-creating with my family. They are not divorced from each other, but somehow integrally woven together.

So it is with dreams. As much as most of us would love to have them come about in a vacuum, free of distraction, they work themselves out in the mundane of day to day life. It doesn't make it easy, but it certainly has its own reward!