Prayer Request

Today close friends of ours found out that their 7-year old son has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. Our hearts ache with theirs and we ask you to join us in praying for Jake and his family; for strength for the coming journey, for an awareness of God's presence and ultimately, for Jake's health.

Another Meme... Six Random Things About Me

Today is catch up for me after a busy week and I've been tagged twice this week. So, rather than having to come up with an original thought of my own, I've decided to have what my son calls "Fun Friday". (This, apparently counts as my extra recess for the day).

Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Share six random things about you.
3. Tag 5 people (or whatever you can).

This time around, Jemila tagged me.

1. I have a secret desire to be an artist.

2. I made it through 1st grade only using the bathroom during school time 3 times (I was so shy, I hated to raise my hand and ask to go).

3. I went to 4 different elementary schools, 2 junior highs and 3 high schools.

4. Between 8th and 10th grades, I lived in 4 different states.

5. My husband and I didn't meet in person until 6 months after we started our friendship/relationship, which was initiated by his aunt and uncle (who lived in the same state as me at the time). We talked on the phone and e-mailed for 6 months before meeting in person.

6. Eddie's aunt had given him a picture of me before our first contact, but all she would say to me about Eddie was that "He's not ugly, but he's not a hunk of a man." (BTW, my husband is quite the handsome man, but Olga knew I refused to date a guy who was my height or shorter...Eddie is 1/2 inch shorter than me)!

I tag


Michelle
Kate
Brad
Kathy

Have fun!

Meme - Six Word Memoir

I've been tagged by Michelle to participate in the Six Word Memoir meme:

1. Write the title to your own memoir using 6 words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.

By the way, I'm pretty much useless at condensing my thoughts to a short, comprehensive sentence! But, here's my go at it...

Walking Purposely, Sharing Generously, Seeking Always

I tag:

Happy
Jemila
Brad
Katie
Kathy

Waiting

A few weeks back, I referred to waiting (specifically, my poor success at it).

Back in March, I had a tough and very needed conversation with a friend and coach. In this conversation, I was challenged in some assumptions as well as the working out of some of my deepest hopes and dreams. It was painful as I had to look some stuff in the mirror and acknowledge my own weaknesses as well as some significant concerns I've had that I have attempted to just put to the side.

In the days following this conversation, I began to reorganize. I searched for options, formulated back up plans of all kinds and in general made myself miserable trying to control the circumstances around me. At that point, my spirit, and God's Spirit working in me said "wait." So I have.

About that time, I picked up a new book Finding My Way Home by Henri Nouwen. It's a little, easily read book. It also, unplanned by me, has a chapter entitled "The Pathway to Waiting". In this chapter, Nouwen draws an unlikely and powerful link between waiting and Christ's Passion, His death on the cross. He states,

Passion is a kind of waiting - waiting for what other people are going to do... Jesus went to Jerusalem to put people in a position where they had to say "Yes" or "No." That is the great drama of Jesus' passion; he had to wait for their response. What would they do? Betray him or follow him? In a way, his agony is not simply the agony of approaching death. It is also the agony of being out of control and having to wait. It is the agony of a God who depends on us to decide how to live out the divine presence among us. It is the agony of the God who, in a very mysterious way, allows us to decide how God will be God. Here we glimpse the mystery of God's incarnation. God became human not only to act among us but also to be the recipient of our responses.

The timing of this book was beautiful. I don't generally wait. I'm not a procrastinator and I love to check off boxes for completed assignments or projects. But, I feel that with this situation, I have taken a seat on the floor, legs crossed and hands open and asked my Creator, my Provider and my Friend to join me. We haven't talked much. Just sat side by side in a holy space, being. It has been an escape from my own drivenness and need to control. It has been a space for communion with the One who knows me best and a time of peace. In taking the time to wait, I have been able to acknowledge God who has waited for me. God has met me, comforted me, challenged me and brought wholeness to my spirit.

I know this time or style of waiting is coming to a close. My communion with God has become more active and circumstances require movement. I'm captivated by the lingering feeling of peace, though. Maybe there's a way to exist with one foot in the action necessary for the movement of life and another in this place reverent waiting.

We've had a fun weekend. Both boys had soccer games; one for Nate and two for Aaron.

Nate is coming into his own in team sports. He figured out he could run this week and zoomed right past the ball and the other players, ran across the field and back and then joined back into the game. I laughed so hard I cried. He had so much fun.

Aaron went up against some big players this week and didnt' back down. He's really getting the strategy of the game, listens to his coach and plays hard. It was also his first time playing goalie. He did great.

I love watching our kids grow, learn and become their own selves. I really love this stage of parenting.

Leadership Development and the Suffering Servant

Our church leadership team has been completing the StrengthsFinder survey as part of our leadership development process. The Strengthsfinder is a morph on the traditional personality test and focuses on areas of strength. The theory is that we are more productive when working within areas that give an internal sense of excitement and fulfillment and that people will be more productive and successful overall when spending time maximizing these strengths rather than attempting to minimize or grow in areas of weakness. (For those familiar with the test, my strengths are Learner, Intellection, Acheiver, Input and Responsibility).

As I help in this process, I've been reading a book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work. This book takes the Strengthsfinder philosophy to the next level. It addresses how to manage your work environment to your strengths through several practical steps. And this is exactly where I'm stuck.

I really like the concept of working in our strengths. I like the idea even more when partnered with the knowledge that God has created each individual unique and has called us to work in community to be the physical representation of Christ in our world. There is no doubt in my mind that God has gifted us and used the experiences in our lives to work for the good of the Kingdom.

I struggle with the way to actually implement the idea of working in our strengths. First off, as a stay-at-home mom, the strategy in the book is incredibly unrealisitic in my day to day life. Breaking up fights, driving back and forth to schools & activites and doing laundry are definitely NOT things that bring excitement and passion to my life! At a deeper level, I have to wonder about the approach of focusing on always making my environment work for me. Go Put Your Strengths to Work does recognize that you can't always work in your strengths, but the goal is to work toward the greatest percentage of time being spent in those things that you excel at and that bring personal fulfillment.

In the gospels, particularly the book of Mark, Jesus is portrayed as suffering servant in the way of the prophets in the Old Testament. The expectation was that the Messiah would be crowned King, not die a shameful death on a cross. I doubt that Jesus, as he approached Jerusalem, or as he knelt crying out to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, was operating feeling impassioned and personal fulfillment. It seems to me that he sacrificed himself for a vision and purpose greater than his own fulfillment and yet ultimately gained the fulfillment of restored relationship.

The fact of the matter is that of my top strengths, mercy is glaringly missing. It's not a natural strength of mine. Yet, that doesn't let me off the hook. The Bible is pretty clear about where my motivation should spring from. Any knowledge or accomplishments I obtain are worthless without love. In addition to the requirement of love, Jesus makes it clear that the highest commandments are to love the Lord with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength and to love others as yourself.

I think one of the keys to keep in mind as we develop the gifts God has given us is that it cannot be all about us. The purpose of using our gifts is to build the Kingdom, to offer God's love in our community and our world. As such there's a fine balance of using our gifts and growing an attitude of humility and community in service of our Creator and Redeemer.

One of Those Days

It's funny the way life happens (and not to be a pessimist, but it does tend to happen this way at times). I'm trying to pull back in a couple areas of life and "wait." I may come back and talk about that more later because it's been an interesting spot for me to dwell in.

I have this image of what I want my waiting to look like. But, then I've caught this odd cold that hasn't seemed to hit my sinuses, but every evening, I begin to have a difficult time breathing and tend to toss, turn and cough throughout optimal sleeping hours. So, I'm really tired.

Then, today I met a friend at McDonald's. The kids had a great time playing and we had a great chat. Until, that is, that last 15 minutes. My daughter got her hands stuck in a closing door, fell off the bench and hit her head against the table. Then, as she was climbing into her car seat somehow fell forward out the car door and was headed face-first for the concrete. I grabbed her by her feet, but in the process got kicked in the face. I'm still not sure how it happened, but am ever so grateful my daughter is OK and is now peacefully sleeping. I have a nice purplish-green mark on my cheek, which I'm hoping will fade substantially overnight tonight.

Anyway, all that to say, I'm sitting at my computer with an ice-pack on my face and realizing that I'm not being all that successful at "waiting." ;-)