Reading Expectations

Three whole months of summer lie ahead. I'm sure by the time we're done, I'll be ready to get back into the schedule the school year creates for us, but for the moment, I'm full of anticipation.

Right now, I'm most excited about two books I received in the mail today, Justification: God's Plan & Paul' Vision by N.T. Wright and Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel. There's nothing quite like opening a new book. The potential of the reading experience is palpable. The smell of paper and ink, looking through the index...mmmmm... I ask myself how this book might challenge me, urge me to change, make me think? At what points might I laugh, nod my head in acknowledgment or shake my head in disagreement? I'll find out soon, but until then, the anticipation of the reading experience is waiting for me.

If you have any great reading suggestions, please let me know!

It's a cool day out. I was going to do some gardening, but the clouds are threatening rain and I'm not quite sure I want to be gardening in that. The fact is, I'm tired and I really don't want to do much. Unfortunately for me, the many things I put off as I was preparing for my Hebrew final are now all screaming out for my attention. Did I mention I'm tired?

The last couple weeks have been beautiful. The meeting with the school concerning our middle son's reevaluation for special services went fantastic, far better than I had anticipated. He scored average or above in all academic areas and in cognitive testing, he actually tested high average to significantly high, specifically in certain reasoning areas. I was thrilled for my son (and honestly for us, too). Those results changed the playing field. It wasn't an option to hold him back. It gave proof to what we've known all along, he's a smart kid. His learning style is not the best for a traditional classroom, but he's learning and "getting it". We're going to see how next year goes and then see if any changes need to be made that would make school fit better for him. In the mean time, my favorite part of the meeting was talking to his speech and OT teachers. They simply love him and "get" him...and that is balm to my heart.

Hebrew is over until next Fall and I decided not to take summer classes. Despite the fact that I'm only taking one class at a time right now, I need a break! I think my family needs a break, too. The kids have a long summer because their school is getting renovated over the break and I can tell that they need my attention...my physical and mental presence very palpable in their lives this summer. I'm anticipating and dreading the summer all at once. My oldest has hit this odd stage in the transition out of 2nd grade and it's a new one for us. It's made a big impact on how he relates with the rest of us. I'm glad to have summer to hunker down as a family without school influences and "relearn" and grown together.

Eddie and I had a great talk last night. We have some big decisions to make, ones that seem to draw all the energy out of me at the moment. I'm so thankful for my husband.

Well, there's my ramblings for today. As much as I wanted to garden today, I'm thankful for the overcast skies and the threat of rain. Maybe that's my sign that I need to take this opportunity to rest. I think that's just what I'll do.

Mother's Day Ruminations

I knew going into the day that it just wasn't going to be about me. The fact that both boys' soccer games from two weeks ago had to be rescheduled for Mother's Day because of snow made that clear. I was ready for that, though. I pictured nice Spring skies and pleasant children...

The kids were horribly cranky yesterday. To ensure my idealist Mother's Day, I made sure they were in bed by 7 p.m. I felt glorious when five minutes later they had all snoozed off. Despite my best efforts, they still woke up with the crabbies this morning, whining and bickering resonating within every room they entered. I have to admit that my voice rose amidst their cacophony a couple times, but didn't seem to slow their driving beat.

Soccer game one came amidst a drizzle of rain and soggy fields...cold. Following a hard kick to the chest it took all of mommy's convincing and the promise of a lollipop back at home to convince Nate to get himself back out on the field to help out his team-mates who were already playing short one player. We made a quick stop at my parents to wish my Mom a happy day, and then headed to soccer game two. The sun poked through twice during the game, making my hopes rise for a change in the direction of the day. Come on, I'll settle with half an ideal day!!

Not to be so. The game was lost, the clouds gathered back to steal the sun away...and with it my dreams. Just as the clouds regrouped, so did the crabby attitudes of my children. By the time my dear husband presented dinner, I just wanted to sneak away and escape, feeling bitter and dejected that yet again, there is no day to rest. No day to gain sanity and peace, restoration in the heart of a mother.

After dinner and with much complaining, I sat myself down with my oldest son to read. You see, he'd waited until the end of the quarter to finish up his required reading for school. At this point, I'm frustrated, tireed and really just want a bath and to go to bed. But, the day's gone anyway, so why not just sacrifice the rest of it. So, we hunker down on the couch and I read to him, then he reads to me, and then my turn again. Before I know it, we're laughing together. He snuggles in to me as we read and looks at me with the all the love an 8-year old boy has in his heart for his mother and says, "Mom, this is the perfect Mother's Day." In that moment, I realize it is exactly that and am profoundly grateful.