Who Knew?

Who knew that a five-page paper would take me so long!? The last month has been busy with day-to-day life (which is enough to keep me busy by itself), but also with writing my first paper for seminary. It's a relatively simple 5-page word study for my Hebrew class, but based on the time I put into it you'd have thought it was closer to 20 pages. Ahhh...I am out of practice in this area.

The good news is that I just printed off my final draft and I'm pretty content with it. I actually am really excited about some of the ideas in the paper. I'll share sometime soon. For tonight, it's off to study my flash cards in prep for class tomorrow!

The One Who Makes Peace

One of my favorite parts of my Hebrew class are the little snippets of sermons we get in our lessons. There's nothing quite like a professor who is awed by her subject and revels in the process of learning and what that brings to us both personally and corporately as we discipline ourselves into learning a language, specifically a biblical language.

Last Wednesday night we interpreted some prayers from a Jewish reformed prayer book. One in particular has stayed with me this week.

The prayer says:

Maker of peace, from his high place, he will make peace over us on all of Israel, and say Amen.

There are a couple things that are significant about this prayer. First, this prayer is said by the Jewish community. Peace has historically not existed for the this community. From the time spent in Egypt, the exile, views of Jews that existed as Christianity became a state sponsored religion, the Holocaust and the continuing conflict in the Middle East today, peace seems a distant dream. This is a prayer of faith for a people who have not experienced peace, but continue to place their hope in God.

The second thing that stood out to me is the first section. "Maker of peace" would read literally, the one who is making peace. The verb "making" is indicative of continuing action. Linked with the next clause, there is an image set up for us. The one who is continuing to make peace, will make peace over us. I God directing the clouds over our heads, a spattering of rain on the sidewalk quickly changing into a steady rain that soaks through; cool, wet heavy rain that leaves us drenched but oddly refreshed. Instead of rain, though, we are drenched with peace. As the storm clouds drift away and the rain lets up, we are left with the same world around us, but the smell is fresher, the grass is greener and renewed hope is held quietly, preciously, in our hearts.

What do we do?

I've mentioned before my frustration with some of the e-mails sent around about Obama during the political campaign.

Today, I was forwarded an e-mail that surpassed all those. It moved from ignorant e-mail forwarding...the kind where the sender doesn't check facts and forwards on incorrect and often harmful material...to one of outright racism.

I think what stunned me the most was that this was from an individual I really respected.

Just last night, my husband shared with me a story of a friend who has what we might call naive racism. He doesn't even realize that what he says is extremely hurtful and propagates the current power structures. His reality says this is all true and yet he is somehow blind to the faults of this way of thinking.

The fact is that this is me, too. I make my own assumptions and think that's reality for all. I use structures that work for me. I don't want my ignorance to be an excuse, though. I want to hear the stories of people not like me...and let it make a difference. Lord, open my eyes.

Another Funny Kid Story...

Last night I was working on a school project with our boys. They had to do some research about someone they knew who served in the military and then write up some of that information. Along with this project, the kids in the school are doing extra chores and raising money to send a veteran on a 3-day trip to Washington D.C. to look at the war memorials. It's a pretty neat project. And, we learned along the way, a needed trip into history for our children. So, here's my conversation with your 7-year old.

7-year old: Mom, what did Papa do in the Army?

Me: In the Army, he was an accounting specialist, but he was a cook when he served with the Air National Guard.

7-year old: What did he cook?

Me: Food.

7-year old: Wow, you mean food was invented way back then?

I Wish I Had A Tan

Warning, totally unimportant blog post ahead...

I was at the gym the other day trying to maintain my work out schedule (which is more for psychological well-being than physical). I was doing my requisite weight routine when I glanced toward the mirror and cringed. Let me just say that the bright white light stunned me into inactivity just long enough for me to remember that it was just my lily white legs. Of course, I only had to look around to see several other folks working out with a nice brownish glow to their skin...and I so wish I had a little more melanin myself. Red-heads are just plain out of luck in that area.

So, there's my thought for the day!

Born Again Church Tour Recap

Last weekend was the Born Again Church Tour here in Denver. It was a great weekend with good conversation and lots of challenging stuff.

One of the best things about a conference like this is that it brings together people from varying backgrounds and mixes us all up a bit. We meet new people who are similar to us and others who are pretty different. This falls right in line with the tension intended from this conference. When we come face to face with "real people" rather than mere issues, the context of the conversation changes.

But, this tension is a difficult space to dwell in. And it was difficult for some in our group. I knew that going in...it's still difficult for me. We're all at varying stages in our journeys and some of these conversations are very uncomfortable...there is no "easy" button. These conversations also mess with our way of doing life and faith and that hurts, especially when a particular way of doing each of these is married to what we call "truth". It then becomes easy to dismiss experiences that lie outside our solid lines.

It seems to me that this place of discomfort, when we want sincerely to defend our process and to take away this tension that confuses us and questions our way of doing life, that we need to press in. We need to wait in that place of discomfort, to seriously consider and accept the questions, whether they are ours or others'.

I know that this time was valuable for each of us that attended. For some, this was a safe place and the ideas were life-giving and exciting. For others it was disheartening and overwhelming. For all of us, it was the start of new conversations.

Parent Teacher Conferences

If you asked me in August whether I was looking forward to our first parent teacher conferences of the year, I probably just would have cried. Honestly.

Our middle child has been diagnosed with a couple developmental delays. Nothing major but enough to keep this mama on her toes. That, combined with a bad preschool experience made for a worried me and a frustrated child. In fact, before school started, my son informed me that he worked hard enough in preschool. He was willing to go to preschool, but if they made him work, he wasn't interested. Well, there you have it. My fear increased. The thought of fighting through years of school was at the forefront of my mind.

It hasn't been that way at all. He works so hard in school, but because it's a good environment, he's fine with it. He's doing fantastic. Really...absolutely fantastic. He started reading to me about two weeks ago and is so proud of himself. I couldn't be more proud at how he has dug in. I am so impressed with how his teacher handles his classroom that makes it very safe for my child.

Ahhh...I'm sure that we will run into our speedbumps along the way as that's just the story of life. But for now, I'm basking in the good report and the happiness of my precious son!

Lord, Are You Speaking To Me or Is It Just the Baseline?

Last night my husband and I attended a concert/worship session with Paul Baloche at New Life Church in Colorado Springs. They are in the midst of a 3-day worship conference called "Enter".

The event was a bit of an odd experience for me. I grew up in churches that placed high stock in worship...that is "praise and worship". The worship services at church seemed to be the point in time everyone longed for throughout the week. It was the emotional place, the place where you sought God for that emotional high that would carry you through the following week. I remember dancing to the song "Jehovah Jireh, My Provider" and the next step of then going forward for prayer. They wouldn't stop praying until you were slain in the spirit. I remember laying on the floor a few times thinking in my head "How long do I have to stay down to make this seem real"? There was some odd stuff that happened at that church. I'm sure that God was present, because God is faithful to meet us, and yet I know that a lot of what went on was deeply influenced by stuff that is definitely theologically suspect if not in some cases downright spiritual manipulation.

When we came to our current church, it was a different denomination, but some of the same things were going on. Still seeking to feel God, both Eddie and I felt that it was a fit for us. But over the last 9 years, my understanding of faith and a relationship with Christ has changed.

Yesterday evening is the first time in about 7 or 8 years that I've been in setting where people have come for the sole purpose of a special place of worship and hearing from God. Without being totally aware of what was happening in me, my initial response was cynicism. I questioned use of group dynamics to create a particular feeling, I judged the guy in front of us who was jumping up and down with some weird head movement thing going on. Emotionally and spiritually, my arms were crossed and I began closing down in a type of fear response.


Until the song, "Praise Adonai" came on. There was a point in the song that either God broke through my initial response or I simply succumbed to the baseline heartbeat of the music. But the breakthrough wasn't a highly emotional thing for me, but a reminder of the path I've been on in my own process.

The first thing that went through my mind was that it the gentleman in front of me has every right to jump up and down and do odd head movements. It's none of my concern how he and God do business. That's between them and I can keep my grubby little hands (or in this case, thought) out of it.

Second, though, was some grappling with how faith, life and relationship with God look like for me. In my own reaction against the feelings of manipulation, both of me and of the purpose of the Holy Spirit in our lives, I pushed much in the way of emotion out of my relationship with God. That's actually a fairly easy thing for me as I tend towards being a thinker anyway. But the question that kept prodding my mind last night was whether closing that emotional door entirely was healthy for me. If not, what does the integration of intellect and emotion look like in my life, 'cause I'm pretty sure there won't be any jumping and head-bobbing for me in the near future?

So, whether it was just the baseline, or God's prodding, last night's worship ended up being much more thought-provoking than I would have originally thought.

By the way, here is an acoustic recording of Praise Adonai. It really is a beautiful song.

Blogging...

Blogging has fallen pretty low on the priority list lately. I have ideas that float through my mind on posts, but either I don't have the energy to follow up on them or they're just not that interesting or appropriate outside my own head!

That and life is pretty busy now that school is in full swing. In fact, we are now part of three separate carpools to get kids to and from their respective schools. It's a bit much to keep track of, but once I have the rythm down, it's wonderful. Especially as without these carpools, I would be spending an hour and a half to two hours a day just taking kids to and from school.

In the midst of all the craziness of our fall schedule, I have come upon a realization that is quite precious to me. For the first time in a long time, I feal a deep peace in my life. The craziness of life hasn't change, but somehow in the midst of it I am at a place of peace, comfort and happiness. I'm so thankful for this place. It's as if I know the winds are swirling around me, but I can take a deep breath and just deal with it.

Phoenix Wedding

We spent last weekend down in Phoenix for Eddie's brother's wedding. We had a great time meeting Hugo's new wife and daughter and catching up with family.

The best part of the trip for me was after the wedding, though. (First off, the wedding was outside at 5:00 in Phoenix in August and it was a long service). Anyway, there was a dance afterwards and our kids just let loose. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! Aaron spent the evening doing the robot dance. Nate was hilarious. I didn't know he had it in him, but he went to town. And Elianna...I just couldn't capture it on the camera. She was trying to mimic the floor routines from the gymnastic competitions at the Olympics. She had all types of moves and the facial expression to go with them. By 9:30, both boys were sound asleep on couches just off the dance floor. Elianna didn't slow down all night.

Cute Kid Quote

Tonight's dinner conversation with my 4-year-old daughter:

Daughter: "I can't eat, my heart hurts."

Me: "Why does your heart hurt?"

Daughter: "Because I asked God into my heart, but now he's sitting on it."

Chuckles from me and my husband.

Daughter, pouting, "Maybe God's jumping on my heart."

About 20 minutes later as she sits on the couch with her hands clasped in front of her:

Me: "What are you doing, Sweetheart."

Daughter: "Praying that God will get off my heart."

Freedom to Fly

As some of you know, our family has become novice bird watchers (see here and here). It all started with visits to my parents when they lived in Salt Lake City. At that time, their back deck was right at the level of the fruit apple trees in their back yard. My dad set out some feeders and a heated birdbath and they had a host of feathered friends join them. When we’d take the kids to visit, a favorite activity in the morning was placing peanuts around the ledge on the deck and going back inside with faces glued to the sliding glass door as they watched the Blue Jays come to eat.

A couple years ago, Robins made a nest on the brick ledge of our house right outside the front door. Later on, Mourning Doves came to use that same nest. The boys had a bird’s eye view, literally, into the bird’s nest and got to see eggs and the development of the babies. So, this summer, for Mother’s Day, I bought myself a couple bird feeders and set them up outside. We’ve had House Finches, Chipping Sparrows, Mourning Doves, Black Headed Grosbeaks and a couple of Chikadees visiting ever since. One of our favorite things to do is sit on the little couch in our front room and watch the birds.

Just the other day, my oldest son told me that he wants to capture the birds and keep them inside with us. I had to laugh. Doesn’t it seem like human nature to want to capture those things that exhibit beauty and mystery and put it in cage? I tried to explain to him that we would loose the wonder if we bottled them up inside, besides the fact that we’d have a lot of mess to clean up on a consistent basis. I don’t think he’s convinced, though. ☺

I can’t help but wonder how many things in life we choose to put in captivity that would function so much better if given the freedom nature, and God, intended.

First Day of School

Well, we made it through the first day of school...and it was good.

Nate has been making me nervous all summer, telling me that he was willing to go to Kindgergarten, but after all the hard work he did last year, he decided he wasn't planning to work on hard stuff this year. And let me tell you, if Nate doesn't want to work, life gets hard. Fortunately, he likes his teacher and his first day of Kindergarten was so much better than his first day of preschool. When I picked him up, he was talking a mile a minute!

Aaron seems to like his new teacher as well. She gives out pennies for good behavior that the kids can use in a penny candy dispenser...what more could 2nd graders want? Except for my son who decided he'd bring the penny home to save for Legos.

I received my class syllabus for my first seminary course. I need to have the Hebrew alphabet memorized by the first week of class. Can I just say that panic has set in for this year?! I'm so excited, but I also know that with my work schedule, the kids school schedule, my school schedule and other day-to-day stuff, it's going to be very busy. I'm sure once the routine is down, it will be manageable. I sure hope so!

By the way, are the boys cute in their uniforms?

Life as a Quest

I've been reading the book Spiritual Direction by Henri Nouwen. This is the second book of Nouwen's I've read and I really enjoy his approach and the way he writes.

Toward the beginning of this book, he states that spiritual direction is the process of asking life's big questions within a supportive community (pg. 5). He goes on to say that often it's difficult for us to answer the big questions on our own because our fears and pain mask the questions in the first place. He goes on to say;

"Once pain or confusion is framed or articulated by a question, it must be lived rather than answered. The first task of guidance then is to touch your own struggles, doubts and insecurities - in short, to affirm your life as a quest. Your life, my life, is given graciously by God. Our lives are not problems to be solved but journeys to be taken with Jesus as our friend and finest guide." (page 6, emphasis mine)

I tend to enjoy making lists. And, when I make my lists, I always make little squares to the left of each item. That way, when I complete a particular task, I can mark it with a nice check mark. The last couple of years have been a period of learning for me. Lists work great for getting stuff done in the office, at the house or when preparing for a trip. But as far as real life goes their use is quite limited. That's what I appreciate so much about Nouwen's quote. Our lives, rather than being a checklist of issues to solve, is a series of questions best answered when journeying within a supportive community, following close to our God.

Pet Peeve of the Day

I continue to receive e-mails that totally blast Barack Obama. They've gone anywhere from saying he wants to turn the US into a Muslim nation to the most recent claiming he snubbed soldiers while visiting Iraq in July.

I think e-mail is a great way to disseminate information. Truth-full information, that is. And, speaking of that, as Christ-followers we claim to follow the way, the truth and the life, and yet we send on e-mails defaming someone's compassion and character without once checking to see if we got our facts straight, plenty willing to believe the worst about "those liberals". Come on folks! Do a little research before entering more e-mail addresses and pressing "send".

Caveat - I know not all Christians vote conservative and those that don't are less like to send these on...so I do realize that I'm not speaking about all Christians

If you don't know where to start your research, try the Snopes website.

This is worth watching!

I've seen this a couple places, but hey, for those who haven't seen it, it's quite the laugh!

Send a JibJab Sendables® eCard Today!

Harry Potter Marathon

I've pretty much been out of the loop on blogging for the summer. Between vacations and managing all three of my kids at home, I'm keepin' busy. But, I do have to admit my guilty pleasure. I ready the first Harry Potter book about a year ago and have been meaning to read the rest. So, I popped down to my brother and sister-in-law's about three weeks ago and borrowed all theirs.

Then, I made a goal. You see, my kids start school August 11th and I start two weeks later. Once we're all in class, there won't be much time left over. So, I decided to read books two through seven before summer break ended. Needless to say, I met my goal in advance. I read them all in three weeks (and yes, I actually accomplished some other stuff in the midst of it).

I loved the books, especially books 4 & 7. The end was amazing. Julie over at One Hand Clapping has a great post she did after book 7 was released. She has some great thoughts and I agree with her (I think I read too fast to do much reflecting...I just wanted to find out what happens!)

If you haven't read them (and especially if you have kids who have or will be reading them), I encourage you to read them for yourself and then sit down for some great conversations with your daughter or son.

Off the Map coming to Denver

I'm excited about a conference coming to Denver in October. My church is a sponsor for Off the Map's Born Again Church Tour 2008.

Check it out and if you're in the Denver area, join us! You can buy tickets via this link.

Rights vs. Responsibility

I've been getting a lot of political e-mails lately. It's that time of year, I suppose. Most of the ones I'm getting have a lot to say about my rights. Specifically, about protecting my rights as a "Christian". The information I'm receiving tells me it is in my best interest to protect my right to be protected; to maintain distance between "others", with whom I disagree politically, in lifestyle philosophy, etc.

I had a conversation with a friend about one of these e-mails. She was concerned about a bill passed here in Colorado and felt that as an American citizen, a person should have the right to hire who he or she wanted. I wondered allowed what would have happened if we had that attitude when civil rights legislation passed. As I mulled over that conversation, I began thinking about my rights as an American citizen and my responsibilities as a person participating in the Kingdom of Heaven. I used to think that to participate in the Kingdom, it only made sense to do so within the political/social structure of the US. I don't think that anymore.


Well, quite frankly, I don't think it works. It doesn't seem to me that Jesus would be all that impressed with me, say as a business owner, only hiring people like me, who make me feel comfortable, happy and content. Or maybe, if I were renting a house, only renting to those I feel comfortable with (i.e. white, middle class, heterosexual). It seem to me that per Jesus' example, my concern should be much more about my responsibility to others rather than that of my personal rights. It is in his death and resurrection that I find reason to reach outside myself and what I "want" to a bigger picture of his Kingdom.

The problem for Christ-followers is that this approach is just a whole lot messier. It's rarely a cut and dried scenario. The safety of the known is so much more comfortable that the risk required as we take the responsibility of being messengers of the Kingdom, the ones who are to bring good news. How can we be those messengers if we've spent our time and energy protecting ourselves and our personal rights? I believe that it is necessary for the follower of Christ to step back from the American view of "rights" and fashion her life based on the responsibility given in the death and resurrection of the One we call Lord. It's a completely different scenario.

Organic Growth...What's It Really Like?

I recently finished reading the bookThe Forgotten Ways by Alan Hirsch. In addition, I was privileged to participate in a round table discussion today with Alan Hirsch which was sponsored by the local Reformed Church Classis, whom I thank sincerely for allowing a group of us to join with them in this insightful day.

As usual, I come out of this with many thoughts, most of which don't deserve a second look. But, in my reading of this book, I got caught on the chapter about organic systems. Hirsch states, "It should not surprise us that organic images of the church should draw their primary theological funding from the biblical doctrine of creation (cosmology), from an ecological and an intrinsically spiritual view of the world rather than from any of the other disciplines that have conventionally informed leadership and the development of organizations. Cosmology must guide us into a deeper understanding of ourselves and our function in the world." (page 180)

In the previous section, he touches on the metaphors Jesus used for the church and the kingdom; body, field, yeast, seed, trees, living temples, vines, animals, etc. Having recently lead a Natural Church Development process in our church, these images were quite familiar to me.

At that point, though, I started to really think about this process. We recently returned from vacation in the mountains of Colorado. While there, we admired the beauty of the forests. We saw pine cones forming on the conifers and shared with our children how the trees are naturally created as the seeds fall to the ground. It's a natural process of reproduction. But built into this process is a significant failure rate. How many of the seeds land on soil, germinate and grow into viable trees which are then able to reproduce themselves? Not nearly as many as were originally sent out (try a google search on this...who knew how many different studies on this exact topic there are).

Hirsch states on page 181 that "...an organic image of church and mission is theologically richer by far than any mechanistic and institutional conceptions of church that we might devise.". I whole-heartedly agree. And yet, as we consider organic processes to be the method of growth and the movement of God in our culture today, I wonder about our ability to also reconcile this seeming failure as part of the natural process. Organic does not necessitate perfect scenarios. It creates natural scenarios. As individuals and communities seek to follow Jesus, how do we deal with the loss that is inherent in natural processes without turning away from the mission?

I think that one method of navigating this reality is to walk in community both within an individual faith community as well as in the joining together with other faith communities on this same journey. For instance, if we consider a single conifer tree in a relatively empty field, it's going to take an awfully long time for much to happen. But, if we look at a field full of trees at various stages of development, all of a sudden the relatively low percentage of germination of seeds begins to "feel" different because we see things happening faster just because there's more to start with.

So, back to human reality... Maybe as individuals and church communities, we have to consider that this organic process is going to look fairly stagnated to begin with. As result, we deliberately parter with other individuals and other churches so that our shared stories inform each other and provide opportunity both for mourning and encouragement as we travel together in this important journey.

And doesn't this make sense anyway when we consider the call for the church (bigger than just our local faith community) to be the body of God, working together to accomplish the mission given to us by Jesus?

Vacation Recap

Ahhh...we arrived home from Estes Park this afternoon. It's good to be home, but we already miss the lovely mountains and the peace that comes at vacation. Although, I will say that we are all looking forward to a good night's sleep in our own beds.

This week we saw several birds including Stellar's Jays, Loggerhead Shrikes, Red-winged Black Birds, Hummingbirds as well as some others that we couldn't identify because they were too fast for us to get a good look at. We also saw several elk, a beaver, marmot, pika, chipmunks galore and a few other rodents that we weren't that interested in finding names for. We fished almost every day and finally caught some Thursday morning after dragging ourselves out of bed at 5:00 am. It was worth it all to see Aaron and Nate pull in their first fish of the week...kind of. ;-)

We did our longest hike yet with the kids. We hiked from Bear Lake, past Nymph Lake and onto Dream Lake, a total of 2.2 miles round trip. I was pretty proud of our little ones. They worked hard and we had a great time.

Here's some of my favorites pictures of the week:

Alberta Falls

We arrived in Estes Park, CO yesterday afternoon for a week in the mountains. We hiked Alberta Falls, which just over 1 1/2 miles. The kids did great and we have a few extra treats along the way. The bird is a Stellar's Jay. I cannot even tell you how excited my 7-year old bird watcher was to see this beautiful bird. The elk were an amazing treat, too. We were told that coyotes were spotted along the trail, too, but we never saw them.

Use Your Words!...or not...

We've been encouraging our 5 year old to use his words when he's angry or upset. As parents, it has been very frustrating to see him resort to full-on crying fits when situations frustrate him. There's that fine line of wanting him to learn to communicate in a more appropriate way for our own convenience vs. the benefit for his own social experiences.

So, tonight, he used his words and told us just how he felt. Eddie asked him to take one of his toys upstairs. He firmly told Eddie he didn't want to. After some cajoling, he was finally convinced to help out. Upon returning back downstairs, Eddie asked him to help clean up toys with his brother and sister. Nate, who has been sick this week, coughed right at Eddie and the slowly walked away. Several steps towards the toy box, he turned around and declared, "I coughed on you because I think you're being mean to me." At this point, I'm about doubled over laughing as Eddie tries to keep a straight face while discussing the finer points of respecting parents, etc, etc.

All that to say, I guess if we ask our child to use his words, we have to be prepared for his choice of words.

"Footprints" and the absence of God

Tonight I spoke with a friend. She's had a few months of intense stuff going on. My friend is a carefree, fun-loving soul. But, life has been tough and she's tired...so very tired.

As we spoke tonight, I felt the heaviness of God's absence. The disappointment that the "answers" of the church were so empty to her right now. The loneliness in calling for God and not being able to find the sure hand to guide her through the darkness. God's love feels like a broken promise when we cry out for his presence and find ourselves instead, horribly, painfully alone.

I can't help but think of the poem "Footprints" in which the individual looks back at the sand through which he or she has just walked to find only one set of footprints and questions God for not walking alongside during a difficult time. God replies that he was carrying this individual. But why, I have to ask, does the person have to feel so all alone during the journey? It kind of makes me want to take one of those nicely framed footprint poems and give it a good smashing on my sidewalk.

I pretty much know the the answers...God's there but we can't just rely on our feelings. We live in a broken world due to Adam & Eve's sin. We'll be able to look back and see God's presence in the situation. These things are all true, at least in part, but they don't help a lick in the midst of the pain.

I don't have pat answers to give. I don't understand why there are seasons when sincere, heart-rending cries to God go unanswered. It ticks me off. And yet I still cry out to God. I stand by my friend and cry out with her...for her. God, make your presence known.

Good Report on Jacob

Our friends have a great report on the progress of their son, Jacob, who is in the midst of treatment for leukemia. Thank you for your continued prayers for this family.

It's Official!

Nope, not pregnant.

I received the official call from Denver Seminary yesterday with congratulations on my acceptance into the MDIV in Biblical Studies program. I wasn't all that worried about actually getting in, but it was a lot of fun to get that phone call and know that this venture (however long it may take me as I inch my way along) has now begun.

I'm a bit late for summer classes, but I'm hoping to get at least one in.

Hurray!

Book Review: Surprised by Hope

I recently finished reading Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church by N.T. Wright. I had not previously read Wright’s work and I have to say, I truly enjoyed his approach and his sense of humor. Dry humor and theology make a nice mix!

The primary point of the book is that Jesus’ resurrection is the pivotal, climatic point of God’s story with humankind and how we understand the resurrection directly impacts how we do faith.

Per Wright, Western Christianity has gotten caught up in a dualistic, Gnostic faith system that values those things of the spirit and disparages those of the flesh. This thought system has over centuries woven itself into our understanding of the resurrection, heaven and the mission of the church. Wright goes back to Jewish culture, the culture around the time of Jesus’ arrival and the writings of the New Testament to challenge the effects this Gnosticism has had on church theology.

One of my favorite paragraphs in the book is found on page 227:

The power of the gospel lies not in the offer of a new spirituality or religious experience, not in the threat of hellfire (certainly not in the threat of being “left behind”), which can be removed if only the hearer checks this box, says this prayer, raises a hand or whatever, but in the powerful announcement that God is God, that Jesus is Lord, that the powers of evil have been defeated, that God’s new world has begun.”

The resurrection is the first glimpse of heaven that bursts forth into the present; it is “new creation.” This new creation is already present, not just in a one-time decision to follow Jesus, but in transformed life.

For those of you who want to participate, how do you see this “new creation” working itself out in our lives in a way that goes against the dualist tendencies of Western Christianity?

Tonight, my kids and I talked about all the things that make God happy. They listed all the normal stuff of being nice to each other, obeying mommy and daddy, praying, but with a little prodding, they starting saying that God is happy when they’re silly, that God enjoys it when they watch the little house finches that visit the bird feeders out our front window or when they build cool stuff with their Legos. I like that they started getting the concept. I know I still struggle at times to consider time with my children as important as “devotions” or other “spiritual” stuff.

Surprised by Hope encompasses so much more than I’ve mentioned here, so if you’re interested, I encourage you to pick up a copy. It is well worth the read!

Planting Day

I'm heading down to my parents house this morning to plant our garden. When we landscaped our backyard, we made a small spot for a garden for us, but I have not been all that great since having children of actually keeping it up. My parents also have a nice big yard, so have created a couple raised beds. They'll be planting an apple and a pear tree later this year and hopefully by next year we'll have some raspberry plants as well.

Today we're planting a couple different kinds of tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, beans, carrots, tomatillos, peppers, squash and various herbs. Thrown in with that will be a mound of pumpkins and a mound of melon. I'm looking forward to gardening with my mom and my kids...and of the yummy harvest we'll have this fall. I don't think we'll have enough to do a lot of canning, so that might be from the local farmer's market. Either way, it's a start and a bit of our own adventure!

Prayer Request

Today close friends of ours found out that their 7-year old son has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. Our hearts ache with theirs and we ask you to join us in praying for Jake and his family; for strength for the coming journey, for an awareness of God's presence and ultimately, for Jake's health.

Another Meme... Six Random Things About Me

Today is catch up for me after a busy week and I've been tagged twice this week. So, rather than having to come up with an original thought of my own, I've decided to have what my son calls "Fun Friday". (This, apparently counts as my extra recess for the day).

Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Share six random things about you.
3. Tag 5 people (or whatever you can).

This time around, Jemila tagged me.

1. I have a secret desire to be an artist.

2. I made it through 1st grade only using the bathroom during school time 3 times (I was so shy, I hated to raise my hand and ask to go).

3. I went to 4 different elementary schools, 2 junior highs and 3 high schools.

4. Between 8th and 10th grades, I lived in 4 different states.

5. My husband and I didn't meet in person until 6 months after we started our friendship/relationship, which was initiated by his aunt and uncle (who lived in the same state as me at the time). We talked on the phone and e-mailed for 6 months before meeting in person.

6. Eddie's aunt had given him a picture of me before our first contact, but all she would say to me about Eddie was that "He's not ugly, but he's not a hunk of a man." (BTW, my husband is quite the handsome man, but Olga knew I refused to date a guy who was my height or shorter...Eddie is 1/2 inch shorter than me)!

I tag


Michelle
Kate
Brad
Kathy

Have fun!

Meme - Six Word Memoir

I've been tagged by Michelle to participate in the Six Word Memoir meme:

1. Write the title to your own memoir using 6 words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.

By the way, I'm pretty much useless at condensing my thoughts to a short, comprehensive sentence! But, here's my go at it...

Walking Purposely, Sharing Generously, Seeking Always

I tag:

Happy
Jemila
Brad
Katie
Kathy

Waiting

A few weeks back, I referred to waiting (specifically, my poor success at it).

Back in March, I had a tough and very needed conversation with a friend and coach. In this conversation, I was challenged in some assumptions as well as the working out of some of my deepest hopes and dreams. It was painful as I had to look some stuff in the mirror and acknowledge my own weaknesses as well as some significant concerns I've had that I have attempted to just put to the side.

In the days following this conversation, I began to reorganize. I searched for options, formulated back up plans of all kinds and in general made myself miserable trying to control the circumstances around me. At that point, my spirit, and God's Spirit working in me said "wait." So I have.

About that time, I picked up a new book Finding My Way Home by Henri Nouwen. It's a little, easily read book. It also, unplanned by me, has a chapter entitled "The Pathway to Waiting". In this chapter, Nouwen draws an unlikely and powerful link between waiting and Christ's Passion, His death on the cross. He states,

Passion is a kind of waiting - waiting for what other people are going to do... Jesus went to Jerusalem to put people in a position where they had to say "Yes" or "No." That is the great drama of Jesus' passion; he had to wait for their response. What would they do? Betray him or follow him? In a way, his agony is not simply the agony of approaching death. It is also the agony of being out of control and having to wait. It is the agony of a God who depends on us to decide how to live out the divine presence among us. It is the agony of the God who, in a very mysterious way, allows us to decide how God will be God. Here we glimpse the mystery of God's incarnation. God became human not only to act among us but also to be the recipient of our responses.

The timing of this book was beautiful. I don't generally wait. I'm not a procrastinator and I love to check off boxes for completed assignments or projects. But, I feel that with this situation, I have taken a seat on the floor, legs crossed and hands open and asked my Creator, my Provider and my Friend to join me. We haven't talked much. Just sat side by side in a holy space, being. It has been an escape from my own drivenness and need to control. It has been a space for communion with the One who knows me best and a time of peace. In taking the time to wait, I have been able to acknowledge God who has waited for me. God has met me, comforted me, challenged me and brought wholeness to my spirit.

I know this time or style of waiting is coming to a close. My communion with God has become more active and circumstances require movement. I'm captivated by the lingering feeling of peace, though. Maybe there's a way to exist with one foot in the action necessary for the movement of life and another in this place reverent waiting.

We've had a fun weekend. Both boys had soccer games; one for Nate and two for Aaron.

Nate is coming into his own in team sports. He figured out he could run this week and zoomed right past the ball and the other players, ran across the field and back and then joined back into the game. I laughed so hard I cried. He had so much fun.

Aaron went up against some big players this week and didnt' back down. He's really getting the strategy of the game, listens to his coach and plays hard. It was also his first time playing goalie. He did great.

I love watching our kids grow, learn and become their own selves. I really love this stage of parenting.

Leadership Development and the Suffering Servant

Our church leadership team has been completing the StrengthsFinder survey as part of our leadership development process. The Strengthsfinder is a morph on the traditional personality test and focuses on areas of strength. The theory is that we are more productive when working within areas that give an internal sense of excitement and fulfillment and that people will be more productive and successful overall when spending time maximizing these strengths rather than attempting to minimize or grow in areas of weakness. (For those familiar with the test, my strengths are Learner, Intellection, Acheiver, Input and Responsibility).

As I help in this process, I've been reading a book, Go Put Your Strengths to Work. This book takes the Strengthsfinder philosophy to the next level. It addresses how to manage your work environment to your strengths through several practical steps. And this is exactly where I'm stuck.

I really like the concept of working in our strengths. I like the idea even more when partnered with the knowledge that God has created each individual unique and has called us to work in community to be the physical representation of Christ in our world. There is no doubt in my mind that God has gifted us and used the experiences in our lives to work for the good of the Kingdom.

I struggle with the way to actually implement the idea of working in our strengths. First off, as a stay-at-home mom, the strategy in the book is incredibly unrealisitic in my day to day life. Breaking up fights, driving back and forth to schools & activites and doing laundry are definitely NOT things that bring excitement and passion to my life! At a deeper level, I have to wonder about the approach of focusing on always making my environment work for me. Go Put Your Strengths to Work does recognize that you can't always work in your strengths, but the goal is to work toward the greatest percentage of time being spent in those things that you excel at and that bring personal fulfillment.

In the gospels, particularly the book of Mark, Jesus is portrayed as suffering servant in the way of the prophets in the Old Testament. The expectation was that the Messiah would be crowned King, not die a shameful death on a cross. I doubt that Jesus, as he approached Jerusalem, or as he knelt crying out to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane, was operating feeling impassioned and personal fulfillment. It seems to me that he sacrificed himself for a vision and purpose greater than his own fulfillment and yet ultimately gained the fulfillment of restored relationship.

The fact of the matter is that of my top strengths, mercy is glaringly missing. It's not a natural strength of mine. Yet, that doesn't let me off the hook. The Bible is pretty clear about where my motivation should spring from. Any knowledge or accomplishments I obtain are worthless without love. In addition to the requirement of love, Jesus makes it clear that the highest commandments are to love the Lord with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength and to love others as yourself.

I think one of the keys to keep in mind as we develop the gifts God has given us is that it cannot be all about us. The purpose of using our gifts is to build the Kingdom, to offer God's love in our community and our world. As such there's a fine balance of using our gifts and growing an attitude of humility and community in service of our Creator and Redeemer.

One of Those Days

It's funny the way life happens (and not to be a pessimist, but it does tend to happen this way at times). I'm trying to pull back in a couple areas of life and "wait." I may come back and talk about that more later because it's been an interesting spot for me to dwell in.

I have this image of what I want my waiting to look like. But, then I've caught this odd cold that hasn't seemed to hit my sinuses, but every evening, I begin to have a difficult time breathing and tend to toss, turn and cough throughout optimal sleeping hours. So, I'm really tired.

Then, today I met a friend at McDonald's. The kids had a great time playing and we had a great chat. Until, that is, that last 15 minutes. My daughter got her hands stuck in a closing door, fell off the bench and hit her head against the table. Then, as she was climbing into her car seat somehow fell forward out the car door and was headed face-first for the concrete. I grabbed her by her feet, but in the process got kicked in the face. I'm still not sure how it happened, but am ever so grateful my daughter is OK and is now peacefully sleeping. I have a nice purplish-green mark on my cheek, which I'm hoping will fade substantially overnight tonight.

Anyway, all that to say, I'm sitting at my computer with an ice-pack on my face and realizing that I'm not being all that successful at "waiting." ;-)

Conversation on the Way to the Movies

My almost 7-year-old: Mom, does God know everything I'm going to do?

Me: Explain to me what your thinking, please.

7 year old: Well, does God control us kind of like a puppet or a remote control car?

Me: People have different interpretations of what scripture says about that. Some people believe that God knows every decision we're going to make and others believe that God gives us freedom to make decisions and then works with the decisions we make to fulfill God's purposes.

7 year old: What do you believe, Mom?

Me: I believe that God allows us to make decisions and then works with those decisions.

7 year old: I think I believe both.

Me: Really. Explain that to me.

7 year old: Well, God puts thoughts in our head to help us make the right decisions. So, that helps us make God's decisions and still make up our own mind. Hey, Mom! I just created a 3rd option. My option includes everyone.

Me: Wow.

(We finished the evening off with watching Horton Hears a Who...fitting after our conversation).

Learning Styles, Modern Boxes & Christian Responsibility

I mentioned in a recent post my process of motherhood and learning to understand and appreciate the way my middle child does life.

Nate has been diagnosed with learning disabilities, mostly in the area of motor development, but we're also monitoring him for what is called "motor planning." Motor planning is the process of organizing items or ideas sequentially or in logical order. For instance, if you ask Nate, "Why do you use an umbrella?", his answer will likely be, "So you don't get wet." Well, according to the system, the appropriate answer is "Because it's raining." There was a step in the process that was missed...the rain needs to be mentioned before the getting wet part.

So, this brings me to a book I've been reading, Intuitive Leadership by Tim Keel. In this book, Keel tells a bit of his own story and that of his church, Jacob's Well, in Kansas City. He talks about the process of moving within a traditional church model and having an ongoing sense of discomfort. This discomfort urged him, forced him, to do church differently than how he had previously experienced it. Keel has some great thoughts in his book and I consider it a excellent synopsis of several ideas and practices in the emerging church movement. There is one area, though, that stopped me.

On page 126, Keen, drawing on the writings of Neil Postman and Marshall McLuhan, summarized three crises in Western educational systems. The first of these occurred in the 5th century BC, when Athens moved from an oral to written tradition. Moving from a culture of iconic images and stories to writing eventually, combined with the printing press, developed in the 16th century (the 2nd crisis) strongly contributed to a very left brain approach to learning. Getting to the point, on page 130, Keel states "It turns out that linear, sequential, analytic ways of knowing are processed in one part of our brain, or more accurately one hemisphere of our brain; the left hemisphere. Over the last several hundred years that make up modern history, the right brain was left to atrophy. In the emerging culture of the postmodern world we occupy, the use of the right hemisphere of the human brain is making a comeback."

Now, back to Nate. About November of last year, he started begging us to let him play piano. So, I finally signed him up for a "Little Mozart's Music Class" through our local recreation center. In the period of 5 weeks I have seen things click for Nate in a way I have never seen this happen. He loves music, he begs to practice and do his music homework, he never complains about it. Amazingly to me, the stuff that is clicking in music is immediately transferring over to other areas. His writing and coloring skills and his attention span have both improved significantly. Besides that, I see confidence and insight that I knew existed in him, but hadn't really seen manifest itself. For instance, our keyboard has several pre-programmed songs in it. One of them is "What Child is This?". The song is in a minor key. One day Nate was playing around on the keyboard and when this song came on, he looked at me and said, "Mom, this is a sad song, isn't it?" He also now makes up stories to go with the music we're listening to.

It was my turn to have something click. Nate's "disabilities" have been labeled such because he does not fit into the educational/learning boxes currently available through public schools. The goals set up in most of today's school environments are driven by left brain processing. In this way, by labeling Nate with a disability, he is given the help he needs to exist in an environment that is not his natural home. In reality, Nate does not so much have a disability as a different approach to learning and doing life. Nate's answer to why you need an umbrella is the right answer. Just because he didn't get to it through the same process as I might, doesn't negate it's truth.

It makes me realize anew how easy it is to make a category and label anything outside that category as unusual, odd, or simply wrong. It's a pretty natural thing to create those boxes. It might be, as in Nate's case, education. It could be a myriad of other things. My job as Nate's mom is to be his advocate, the person who understands him and balances some odd line of encouraging him and also working with the system on his behalf. It's certainly not a fine science, but it's ongoing goal.

I wonder if that's part of what we are called to as Christians. Understanding that boxes don't always work and that their are people who don't fit and need our help. They might be outside our churches, I'm pretty sure they're sitting in our churches. I know that I often fall into that category.

Satisfaction

Last night Eddie went out on a date thanks to good friends who we swap childcare with (Thanks Brian & Tanya)! We stuffed ourselves on Mexican food and then went to the bookstore.

These days I generally buy books on amazon.com. There's nothing like a good evening at the bookstore, though. I spent the evening walking around reading titles, peaking inside books. I walked away with my own little stack and am so excited to start reading! So, the new books in my libary are:

Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church by N.T. Wright - I haven't read any of N.T. Wright yet, but have heard wonderful things so I'm excited to start this book

Fugitive Denim: A Moving Story of People and Pants in the Borderless World of Global Trade by Rachel Louise Snyder - This book takes a look at the intricate nature of global trade in mapping the process of making a pair of jeans, specifically in this case, jeans that ensure fair wages for the workers and minimal environmental impact. It should be an interesting read.

Coaching People by Harvard Business School Press - I'm leading a volunteer and leadership development process at our church and I'm hoping this little book gives some good tips for coaching.

I purchased two books by Henri Nouwen, Spiritual Direction and Finding My Way Home - I've also heard great thing about Nouwen, so am eager to start these as well.

All in all, I have to say I feel quite satisfied this evening.

Closed Hand, Open Hand

I tend to be a person with a closed hand. As a natural introvert, I’ve always tended to need space of my own to reenergize. Add to that, as a teenager, we moved around quite a bit (4 states in two years between 8th & 10th grades). Throw those two things together and, at least for me, you get a person that is pretty reserved in relationships. It’s like I have something in my brain that says, “Hey, you’re going to move again soon anyway, so don’t count on this.” Never mind that I’ve now lived in one place for eleven years. (Surely that’s irrelevant, right)?

I find my hand is closed because it protects me. If I don’t place all of me on the table, then there’s a bit of safety in the wiggle room I’ve created for myself. And yet, I hear this beckoning for something more. I see the close relationships of people who have given years to each other in friendship and I wonder what that would be like.

But, then I shrink back again. An open hand is open to the fullness of relationship. It is also open to the hurt that comes when you’re standing in the middle of an open field during a lightning storm. Ouch, that’s gotta hurt!

There’s a song by Natasha Bedingfield that I’ve really enjoyed lately called “Wild Horses”. There a line in the chorus that says, “Wild Horses I want to be like you. Throwing caution to the wind, I run free too.” I love that image. It sounds so beautiful and free. I imagine a warm beach and the horses running a long, their manes whipping in the breeze. The reality is that despite the freedom of the horses, not everything is a lovely jaunt on the beach. There are hurricanes, the constant hunt for food and the ever-present danger of being caught that make the life of a wild horse much less idyllic than this song supposes.

So, that’s the reality I need to navigate. As someone who believes in relationship, I have to be willing to open my hand and accept both the beauty and the pain that arises in that vulnerability.

Beautiful Glimpses of Wholeness

Jemila wrote an excellent post yesterday that encapsulates so many of my own thoughts about parenting, personal fulfillment and what it means to truly give of myself and yet retain something of myself as well (thanks, as always, for your beautiful words, Jemila).

I have realized that there is nothing like being a mother to bring out my own insecurities. This can be particularly true with my middle child. He's so much like me in many ways, especially as I was as a child. He has some stuff he struggles with and I tend to really push him and worry, fret and cause more problems for him because of my own issues.

In the last couple weeks, I feel like I've been given little peeks into who Nate is and what makes him tick that have allowed me to step back and "get it". I love it. He doesn't do life in a way that I can measure. He doesn't do life in a way that is easily measured by anyone, really. And yet, inside this little person is this amazing strength, creativity and stamina.

As a mom, I'm learning to release expectations that are unattainable for my children. I'm learning to stop long enough to figure out my own stuff before I load it down on my kids. In the midst of that, I am able to enjoy their strengths, gifts and incredible personalities.

Cross-Cultural Experiece

Living in Parker, CO, we don't have a lot of opportunities for cross-cultural experiences. But, this weekend, we had the pleasure of dinner at one of my husband's co-workers homes. This family is Palestinian. The husband moved to the US quite some time ago, but his wife just immigrated to the US four years ago, immediately after marrying. It was an arranged marriage and each of the individuals is from the same small village.

I have to admit that I am utterly in awe of this situation. I can't fathom moving clear across the world with no support system and immediately starting a family and being completely alone. This family is truly amazing and were incredibly hospitable. We were treated to a traditional middle eastern meal (our kids, who tend to hate any unfamiliar food, did quite well). We had chicken and a dish called "upside down", which we were told anyone from the Middle East would be familiar with. It's a rice dish with eggplant, cauliflower, carrots and noodles. We were lavished with hospitality and there wasn't a single request our children made that wasn't granted (much to our chagrin at a few points).

Our conversation was really interesting, too. The guys talked about how they couldn't imagine staying home with the kids. Shahir said something I found interesting. Apparently, Muslims have a saying that "You can find God at the foot of a mother." It's a reference to the nurturing, from conception on, that a mother provides to a child. It's an image of the love of God towards people. What a lovely, provocative image.

Civic Duty and Immigration Reform

This week I fulfilled my civic duty for the year...the dreaded jury duty.

When I got to the court house, I found out that we were all potential jurors in a murder trial. I'm going to admit that I was pretty upset about the whole thing. I do a lot of driving around with the kids to school, preschool and stuff and finding people to take that over for the two week period required overwhelmed me.

Yesterday the jurors went through interviews by the prosecution and defense. I was far enough down the line that I wasn't asked anything. But I sure did watch and listen a lot. One of the first things I noticed was that the defendant was a Latino man who required translation for the proceedings. This was quickly a topic of conversation among the potential jurors, and not to the benefit of the defendant. The guy sitting next to me shared his pretty prejudiced views quite freely.

I could only take so much of this before informing him that my husband and his entire family are Mexican, some who came legally and some who came illegally. Just this last Thanksgiving, Eddie's mom shared their family story with us for the first time. Not even Eddie knew how his family had immigrated to the U.S. His grandpa was a migrant worker who moved from Juarez, Mexico up to central Colorado. After a few months, he came to church sobbing on a weekly basis, he missed his wife and 12 children so much. His pastor spoke to his boss, who then sponsored him and his family for immigration. They moved to El Paso, TX one day before their 13th child was born! Eddie's father came into the U.S. as an illegal immigrant and spent his first year in the U.S. in the basement of a business in Chicago without heat. He remembers never being warm enough and trying to mime what he wanted for food to local restaurant employees. Sometimes he would get food, sometimes not. A few years later, he was granted citizenship. (By the way, almost 40 years after immigrating, Eddie's mom still speaks broken English and his father is still somewhat choppy. It's hard to learn a new language as an adult)!

Julie over at One Hand Clapping has a great post that gives us a different look at the immigration debate. We would do well to consider this debate from the eyes of an immigrant.

For me, I feel the defendant in this trial is feeling first hand the impact of being an immigrant who is not wanted. Out of 120 jurors, there were two Asians and one Mexican...that's it. The rest of us were white. Two of those three were excused because they did not speak enough English and the other was excused for other reasons. I believe that the people on the jury will take their responsibility quite seriously, but I hope in the midst they can attempt to put themselves in the place of a different culture, put their assumptions aside and try to understand life from the view of a stranger. I think this is an important aspect to the immigration debate as well. I know that my point of view was significantly impacted as I sat listening to my mother-in-law tell their family story. It was no longer an arms-length away. It became part of my story.

123 Meme

Happy, at A Fundamental Shift passed on a meme to a mutual friend, Jemila, who then tagged me. The rules are…. “simple” and the results humorous:

Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
Find Page 123.
Find the first 5 sentences.
Post the next 3 sentences.
Tag 5 people.

So, just so you all know, my laptop is on a little desk in my kitchen. I don't often keep my books (outside cookbooks) in the kitchen due to it several spills in the past that have left my books looking rather poorly. So, tonight, I found my husband's book, which should thrill each of you with it's profundity! ;-)

From The Guitar AMP Handbook: Understanding Tube Amplifiers and Getting Great Sounds:

"There are a lot of uses for the things, no doubt, and if you don't already own one, I'm sure almost every player reading this can imagine a situation in which a good attenuater would be handy.

They do, nonetheless, by the nature of their operation, have inherent...I wouldn't want to call them 'drawbacks,' but let's just say "elements of their function' that sometimes make your rig sound not exactly like a less loud version of the same amp. The first is that driving your speakers at different levels obviously makes them perform differently; any speaker's reaction and interaction to and with the amp is a big part of the amp's overall sound, and these speakers sound differently when driven hard than they do when driven gently."

So, there you have it. Guitar philosophy at its finest.

I tag:

Kate
Brad
Julie
Kathy
Tanya

(Kate, Brad and Tanya...this is just a reason for you all to put up a new post on your blogs)!

Freaky Weather

Last night was a totally weird weather night here in the suburbs of Denver. It started knowing and then it began to lightening and thunder. Shortly after that, we heard the pop, pop on the roof indicative of hail. Then it rained for a bit and went back to snow. It was all done in about the course of an hour.

So odd!

Good News and Relationship

For the last couple weeks, I've been thinking about what the term "good news" means. If you're interested, you can find my other posts here and here.

In Greek, the word "euangelion" means good news, or to evangelize. Growing up in Evangelical churches, the evangelize and good news were spoken of mostly in the context of preaching, handing out tracts and conversion. When missionaries came to visit, the success of their ministries were judged based on how many people had "come to know the Lord." As a part of a youth group, I remember being encouraged to bring my Bible to school and make sure I knew the "Roman's Road" so as to share with others their need for salvation.

In recent years, I've come to a different understanding of what it means to share the good news. I actually think that coming to know the Lord is about radical wholeness. We Evangelicals view this wholeness in large part within the soul of the individual who has come to a decision to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. I think that wholeness, biblically, is larger than the individual and extends to community, society and the entirety of creation. The good news is inextricably tied to relationship. It encompasses social justice, care for creation and the responsibility of being an extension of God's shalom within our world. None of this happens without caring concern and fostering community and relationship. This reality came to me quite clear last week.

I received an e-mail from a co-worker of my husband's. He had received an e-mail claiming Muslims can't be good Americans. It was quite ridiculous, really. I sent him back my thoughts and opinions and in response I received this e-mail:

Thank You so much for putting in the time on this. I appreciate your points. I was telling Eddie that I respect his family’s views on Christian morals. That’s why I went to him with this. See I am actually an Atheist. Something I assure you my mom suspects, but doesn’t want to believe. I do however appreciate the Bible and the teachings of Jesus as a good framework for teaching children and family moral values. My main pet peeve in life however is Hypocrisy. That is my main reason for my belief structure. When I see the corruption and the hypocrisy going on in today’s Christian society it pains me and tends to make me lash out at Christianity as a whole. It’s people like you and Eddie that keep a thread of hope that Christian people will return to the morals of kindness and loving and leave the hatred and bigotry behind.

I don't share this as a pat on the back for us. Rather, an acknowledgment that people are paying attention. Eddie's worked with this guy for years and they've had lots of discussions about faith and he has been a pretty staunch Atheist. In that time, though, he and Eddie have developed a relationship that ultimately allowed us to share with him about our faith and how that looks played out in relationship. He's seen his share of Christians who share their faith in judgment rather than love. In the process, he's decided that he can't accept a god who looks like that. Wow. I was so touched by his response and in it his openness to God's working.

You know what's really odd? I showed up for jury duty yesterday and who came around the corner just a few minutes later, but this same guy. Isn't it amazing how God weaves the threads of life together into relationship? In the past, quite frankly, I would have been totally freaked out, thinking I had this huge responsibility to "convert" this gentlemen. It is so freeing for me to recognize that it is in ebb and flow of relationship that the good news of God is shared. I don't have to barrel in full force, but can walk the journey with the people whom God brings into my life.

Submission a Pre-Requisite to Evangelism?

I recently started re-reading Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. In the middle of the book is a chapter on submission.

Foster's understanding of submission is critical for the practical application of evangelism, or the sharing of the "Good News". Per Foster, Jesus' radical statement, "If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Mark 8:34 is the key to a biblical understanding of this spiritual discipline.

Before taking up a cross, Jesus says a person has to deny himself or herself. Foster goes on to say that denying ourselves, or submitting, is "simply a way of coming to understand that we do not have to have our own way." When we can admit that we don't have to have our own way, Foster states that we gain "the ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way." In fact, he states in another place that "Only submission can free us sufficiently to enable us to distinguish between genuine issues and and stubborn self-will."

It's the last statement that started a bunch of thoughts in my mind. I tend to like my own way. So, how does that self-centeredness point me toward my own stuff rather than genuine issues? What would it look like for me to surrender my need to defend myself, to protect myself, to serve myself? What would it look like for an entire community of believers, to do that? As I ask these questions, I think of Jesus' response to the teacher of the law in Mark 12:30-31 regarding which of the commandments was most important "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

If each of us is able to deny that natural self-centeredness and submit...to God, to others...what type of issues would we be able to rally around? In what way could we accomplish God's mission on earth which is hindered when our own issues are allowed to take the forefront.

I think it is at this spot we realize that submission is a key requirement for the sharing of the good news. Without it, the good news is easily tainted with with our own stuff.

*"Submission" is a word with tons of social baggage. I highly recommend reading Foster's book, specifically the chapter on submission and in particular, his analysis of the limits of submission."

The Feet that Bring Good News

How beautiful on the mountains 

are the feet of those who bring good news, 

who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation, 

who say to Zion,
"Your God reigns!" Isaiah 52:7

My mind has been churning since a conversation last week. One of the guys involved in this conversation has roots in the LDS (Mormon) church. A few years out of high school, he felt there were questions he had of his faith that could not be adequately answered. He explained the process of moving from confusion the point of coming face-to-face with God and finding peace. Looking back, he was able to recognize the working of God in his life from a very young age. As he shared his story, I felt as if I was being given a glimpse of a sacred process and I couldn’t help but think of the people and events that influenced him along the way.

I started thinking about what it means to “evangelize”. Someone who evangelizes is one who brings good news. It’s interesting. Some scholars hypothesize that there were different men assigned to bring good news and bad news Old Testament times. Important information needed to get from point to point and without easy access to modern technology, it fell to messengers who ran between those points. An example of this is in 2 Samuel 18. The watchman sees a runner coming and identifies him as Ahimaaz, son of Zadek. When the king hears this, he says, “He’s a good man…He comes with good news.” 2 Sam 1:27. Sure enough, the king finds out he has been delivered by God from his enemies.

In Isaiah 52, God is speaking to his people that he has recognized their distress and is preparing to rescue them from the hand of their enemy. The references to peace, good tidings and salvation have to do with safety, the end of war and the return of God’s people to the promised land. It is celebration of peace and wholeness, the shalom of God. Just as in 2 Sam, this scripture recognizes the moment when the messenger is recognized upon the horizon, running to share the good news. The whole idea of “good news” is actually quite compelling and runs throughout the Bible. It deserves much more than I can give it in a blog post.

This imagery captured my imagination. I believe strongly that the good news we have is more than a moment of decision and the hope of heaven. It is also very much about the restoration of freedom, peace and transformation in our lives now. It’s about the restoration of all of creation to God.

So then, I have to ask myself if I am someone who, when people see me coming, know that I’m bringing a message of good news. Do my actions and words radiate wholeness and peace? What exactly does that look like? I’m going to tackle that question in more detail this week.

Changing Directions

The last 2-3 years have been an amazing time of transition and change for me in how I understand God, myself and what the church's mission is in the world. Living in state of unknown is not generally something I enjoy, so last year I decided I would tackle that unknown and see what I could do to conquer it. My goal was to go through the names and descriptions of God in the Bible, reflect on that characteristic and what it meant both for God and for humanity as reflections of God's image.

My approach was primarily academic. I want to "know" about how God works, who God is and what that means to me. But, my first tendency is to know intellectually before I jump into actual relationship and intimacy. I want to know what I'm getting into before I take the big jump. I want to measure, massage and manipulate information so that I can understand God. And in the midst of that, I haven't opened my own heart to intimacy with my God.

This became clear to me throughout the Fall and Summer as I worked through the book of Jeremiah. I grew up hearing about God's anger and God's love, but not together. I heard that God was a God of grace, but also that I had to be a certain way, believe a certain way to avoid God's wrath. The message was usually that God is filled with grace, but that there's this scary part of him out there too and we're not sure what to do with it, so tread carefully.

In the book of Jeremiah, I came face-to-face with God's anger. Israel has been unfaithful to her God, time and time again. God has had it and through Jeremiah, speaks of the demise of this nation he has chosen to reveal himself to. I had a hard time with this. I see my own anger and I see horrible failure. It's difficult for me to understand anger in God and what that means for me.

I've been struggling with this for a while. Until at one point shortly after Christmas, I heard this voice. (Let me clear, I'm not saying it was God, but at the same time I'm not denying it either). The voice said, "How often do you get to know your friends by studying them".

That's my change in direction. I don't get God. The greatness of Creator, Redeemer, Wisdom, Provider is more that I can intellectually comprehend. I should have figured this out much sooner. But old habits can be hard to break.

In Jeremiah 33:2&3, the Lord spoke to Jeremiah saying, "...he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it - the Lord is his name: Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable thing you do not know."

That is my prayer this year.