The last 2-3 years have been an amazing time of transition and change for me in how I understand God, myself and what the church's mission is in the world. Living in state of unknown is not generally something I enjoy, so last year I decided I would tackle that unknown and see what I could do to conquer it. My goal was to go through the names and descriptions of God in the Bible, reflect on that characteristic and what it meant both for God and for humanity as reflections of God's image.
My approach was primarily academic. I want to "know" about how God works, who God is and what that means to me. But, my first tendency is to know intellectually before I jump into actual relationship and intimacy. I want to know what I'm getting into before I take the big jump. I want to measure, massage and manipulate information so that I can understand God. And in the midst of that, I haven't opened my own heart to intimacy with my God.
This became clear to me throughout the Fall and Summer as I worked through the book of Jeremiah. I grew up hearing about God's anger and God's love, but not together. I heard that God was a God of grace, but also that I had to be a certain way, believe a certain way to avoid God's wrath. The message was usually that God is filled with grace, but that there's this scary part of him out there too and we're not sure what to do with it, so tread carefully.
In the book of Jeremiah, I came face-to-face with God's anger. Israel has been unfaithful to her God, time and time again. God has had it and through Jeremiah, speaks of the demise of this nation he has chosen to reveal himself to. I had a hard time with this. I see my own anger and I see horrible failure. It's difficult for me to understand anger in God and what that means for me.
I've been struggling with this for a while. Until at one point shortly after Christmas, I heard this voice. (Let me clear, I'm not saying it was God, but at the same time I'm not denying it either). The voice said, "How often do you get to know your friends by studying them".
That's my change in direction. I don't get God. The greatness of Creator, Redeemer, Wisdom, Provider is more that I can intellectually comprehend. I should have figured this out much sooner. But old habits can be hard to break.
In Jeremiah 33:2&3, the Lord spoke to Jeremiah saying, "...he who made the earth, the Lord who formed it and established it - the Lord is his name: Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable thing you do not know."
That is my prayer this year.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Changing Directions
Posted by Amy at 9:07 PM
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10 comments:
That is really awesome, Amy. Man, it spoke to my heart big time! I am the same way, I want to know God intellectually, because I think that will change me wholly. That question, "do you study your friends" really smacked me in the head! Wow, I have some processing and praying to do!
Thank you!
The question had that same effect on me, Tom. I'm so glad I'm not the only one.
wow... i think i just got smacked upside the head too! and i was just popping over to say "tag, you're it." :)
thanks, Amy. I suspect it's likely that was God.
love you sis - and I owe you a letter. Saturday. :) hope all is well with you.
Crescenet, thanks for visiting and your encouragement. I tried visiting your site, but it appears to be in a different language. Let me know if I can do anything to change that.
Happy, I would love to hear from you, but SO understand busy schedules. No pressure. The whole concept has really challenged me. I have no clue why I never thought of it that way before.
Blessings to you!
Thanks for the grace, Amy. :) I just remembered it's Saturday... :P soon, tho. :) Blessings to you as well!!
I figure if I can dish it out, it will hopefully come back to me when I need it, Happy1
Why do you feel you have to look so "intelletual" to be accepted as a christian blogger? Whatever happened to faith like a child's faith? I took the Truth Project course on dvde and am taking another training by Del Tackett and don't see why you have to question him and his teachings taken directly from scripture to look "intelligent". I take the scripture as it is told in the Bible and get so irritated be people like you that say you are a christian but have to question anyone else who teaches the Word of God. God is the same today as He was yesterday and will be tomorrow. Can't we focus on something else since we don't have to question scripture? If you are that desperate for something to do, why not help those in need in this world of the lost instead of questioning what you already know to be true. I have been on the mission field know there are lots of people out there who could use your energy on them instead of you questioning what you already know to be true.....................
Debi, thanks for stopping by.
This post was not about sounding intelligent, but rather the balance of intellectually understanding God and having intimate relationship with God. Neither is exclusive. I have found in my life that in the pursuit of knowing God, I cannot approach my Creator purely based on empirical research, but must also include the relational side of knowing.
In regard to the Truth Project, I thought the overall project was done quite well and do agree with a lot of what is in it. I will never be a person that accepts what someone else says the Bible says without mulling it over myself, in relation to the Bible itself. That's actually a biblically acceptable response as indicated in Acts 17:11 "Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." People who believe very much that the Bible offers Truth disagree on certain practical and theological positions. We differ on how we interpret the roles of women in the church, free will versus predetermination, the gifts of the Spirit in the church today, etc. Disagreement on these issues has practical value for individuals in deciding where they worship, but are not (or should not) be cases for Christians, called to love others as we love ourselves, of division.
When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, his response was, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these" Mark 12:30-31. What's really exciting about this scripture is God's allowance and encouragement to each of us to know and love him. It involves our intellect, our emotions and our spirit. I am so thankful that God accepts and encourages each of our quests to learn about and love God. I've seen evidence of this, in particular, as I watch my own children grow. They show me an example of the innocence of faith, but also the insatiable desire to learn and know. When we talk about God, they are actively involved in the conversation. They ask questions, hard questions, and there are parts that they don't understand, but their approach is open and curious rather than jaded and hard. I think this is what Jesus was referring to rather than demanding an unquestioning belief. In fact, faith cannot really be classified as faith if we don’t take a leap beyond human understanding. If that were the case, we wouldn’t need faith to believe, just good, hard facts.
Thank you for pointing out the many needy in our world. Since you don’t know me, you’re probably unaware of my other involvements and passions. Suffice it to say, I believe my relationship with God must work its way out in the person I am within my family, community and world and endeavor to heed God’s call in each of those arenas.
Debi, I hope I’ve provided clearer insight. We may still have areas of disagreement, which is OK. I pray God’s grace for you in your journey of faith.
Very good post. It seems that you and I have been on the same time-line and we both really want to KNOW before we leap. I'm trying to wade through it all myself. I enjoyed your post here.
Michelle
Thanks, Michelle. It's always nice to find other people that understand. Blessings to you!
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