Tonight I spoke with a friend. She's had a few months of intense stuff going on. My friend is a carefree, fun-loving soul. But, life has been tough and she's tired...so very tired.
As we spoke tonight, I felt the heaviness of God's absence. The disappointment that the "answers" of the church were so empty to her right now. The loneliness in calling for God and not being able to find the sure hand to guide her through the darkness. God's love feels like a broken promise when we cry out for his presence and find ourselves instead, horribly, painfully alone.
I can't help but think of the poem "Footprints" in which the individual looks back at the sand through which he or she has just walked to find only one set of footprints and questions God for not walking alongside during a difficult time. God replies that he was carrying this individual. But why, I have to ask, does the person have to feel so all alone during the journey? It kind of makes me want to take one of those nicely framed footprint poems and give it a good smashing on my sidewalk.
I pretty much know the the answers...God's there but we can't just rely on our feelings. We live in a broken world due to Adam & Eve's sin. We'll be able to look back and see God's presence in the situation. These things are all true, at least in part, but they don't help a lick in the midst of the pain.
I don't have pat answers to give. I don't understand why there are seasons when sincere, heart-rending cries to God go unanswered. It ticks me off. And yet I still cry out to God. I stand by my friend and cry out with her...for her. God, make your presence known.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
"Footprints" and the absence of God
Posted by Amy at 9:14 PM
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3 comments:
Beautiful post, Amy.
Maybe your friendship be strengthened by your willing to walk alongside and just be with her.
I clicked on your blog from The Carlsons. Wow! I have resonated over the last couple of years with this feeling. God where are you??? As you know, we have been in our own round of counseling and our very wise counselor gave us some wonderful advice. She said to feel God through your five senses. Sometimes, I will sit on my couch, feel a warm blanket, smell a good cup of coffee, listen to the birds in the trees, taste some chocolate and see the mountains. In these precious moments, I feel God. Another way I sense the presence of God, is a listening friend, my boys kissing my cheeks, and remembering all that He has done for me. I will pray for your friend and that she will sense the very real presence of God, instead of his absence. I miss you, Amy!
Thank you, Michelle. There is something special about friends walking together in the midst of life.
Angie, thanks for stopping by. I like your counselor's advice. I think the way we separate out the "spiritual" from real life contributes to our feelings of God's absence. When we invite God to be with us in the daily stuff, I think we open up more opportunities for God to be known to us.
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