An Introvert's Dilemna

I've noticed over the last several weeks and underlying longing to encircle myself with home, books, and the lovely comforts of all that is familiar and safe. I thought at first that it was simply catching up from a long semester with lots of my own school work on top of the responsibilities of being a mom. But, week after week, this tendency continues to assert itself, crowding out full enjoyment of almost any activity that takes me away from my "quiet spot." (Granted, my "quiet spot," home, is much less quite now that my three kiddos are out of school as well).

As I've been thinking about this draw to home, I've reflected on a quote from the book Traveling with Pomegranates. Here, Sue Monk Kidd makes a statement that resonates with me at the moment. She states, "At times like this, I feel the small curse of my introspective nature and its obstinate demands, how it wants to be allowed, wants my unhurried and undivided attention, how the moments of life insist on being metabolized and given expression. As usual, having failed to stop and tend to this unmitigated part of myself, it has stopped me." (p. 218).

Like the author, I'm tempted to push past my melancholy. To skip the searching and resting that my introverted nature requires at this time. But, in doing so, I deny part of who I am, who God made me to be. I push past my fundamental need to process, think, and absorb.

I've often wished that I wasn't an introvert, that I didn't have these tendencies. But I am, and I do. So, for today anyway, I give myself permission to stop and tend to myself. That decision sparks a sneaky little smile from my introverted self!