Working "Upstream" and becoming a Feminist

I found the following quote in the quarterly newsletter from the local women's shelter.

One day a woman was walking along a river and was astonished to see many women struggling in the water. She saw some people pulling the drowning women out of the river. The woman thought for moment, then she ran upstream to find out why the women were falling in the water in the first place and to do something about it." - Source Unknown

I've run into a couple blog conversations latelely, one at CBE and the other at Amateur Theology, that end up addressing, at some level, what those "upstream issues" might be.

The CBE discussion centers around a law passed last year in Spain mandating that crosswalk signs equally balance pictures of men and women. The discussion tended toward how they were to characterize the woman sign (wearing a skirt and hair up in a pony-tail). The question also came up as to the many other worthy efforts towards equality this money could have been used towards.

At Amateur Theology, a discussion on feminism garnered a comment about going too far by some in signing a card "from women and men of such and such." Geoff gave a terrific reply that addressed just what the quote above is referring to.

As I read the newsletter from the Women's Crisis and Family Outreach Center, I couldn't help but ask what can we do to change the upstream issues. Are changing street signs that important? Maybe. Is it important to sometimes change up what might be a common idiom to be purposeful in raising awareness of equality? Quite possibly. I think both of these efforts are a good start to challenging culture to change assumptions. Will either of these, by themselves, stop some of the downstream issues such as rape and abuse? Unfortunately, not anytime soon.

So, what else can we do to change ingrained stereotypes? How do we challenge a status quo in which we have accepted a certain way of viewing women and men? I have recently heard people say that they support equality for women, but turn around and say something like "But, I wouldn't want a woman as a senior pastor because she'd be much too emotional when it came to 'that time of the month.'" Or, state that a women cannot speak as well publicly because women's voices are too grating. Or, if a girl dresses a certain way, she deserves to be raped. The first two comments are concerning. The last is appalling. All these comments are from educated, caring people..and yet what they claim to support is still not implemented in practice. That these ideas are reflective of our Christian community, as well as systems within our culture, makes me incredibly sad.

I wish I had a comprehensive answer for my questions. I don't. I do know that I choose to be a person that promotes change. I've silently called myself a feminist for quite a while. For me, acknowledging this description publicly allows me to challenge the status quo. In explaining myself to others, I challenge stereotypes and assumptions. It is simply my attempt to give a voice to upstream assumptions so critical to changing reality for both men and women, made in the image of our Creator God.

How about you? What are the upstream issues that concern you and what are you doing about it? I'd love to know.

Celebration of Love

Today my husband and I celebrate nine years of marriage. To be quite honest, the last year has had some significant bumps in the midst of good times. The eight years before had their own issues as well. We are coming to understand each other as we are rather than the person we would like the other to be.

I've been reflecting on what it means to love in the context of marriage. While reading a book, Exiles, I came across a quote by Madeleine L'Engle that seems to describe love as I have come to understand it.

My love for my husband and his for me is in that unknown, underwater area of ourselves where our separations become something new and strange, merge and penetrate like the drops of water in the sea. But we do not lose our solitudes, our our particularity, and we become more than we could alone.

This is mystery. I cannot explain it. But I have learned that it makes up for our clashes, our differences in temperament, our angers, our withdrawals, our failures to understand.

No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I've been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again-till next time.

I've learned that there will always be a next time, and that I will submerge in darkness, but that I won't stay submerged. And each time something has been learned under the waters; something has been gained; and a new kind of love has grown. The best I can ask for is that this love, which has been built on countless failures, will continue to grow. I can say no more than that this is mystery, and gift, and that somehow or other, through grace, our failures can be redeemed and be blessed.

Today we celebrate the blessing that comes with nine years of joys and failures, of fulfillment and disappointment, of unity and of seemingly uncompromising division. We celebrate the bravery in continuing to travel together. In that place we find the mystery, we find love, we find each other.

Happy Anniversary, Eddie. I love you.

UnChristian Meme

I've been tagged by Happy on a new meme going around. (You can find out more about meme's in general and this on in particular at her site).

This meme is based on a book unChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about Christianity...and Why It Matters.

The tasks for the meme are to note three negative stereotypes of Christians and then one thing for which Christians should be known for.

Negative Stereotypes

Christians don't care for the poor. (Notice I didn't say that they don't "think about"). I have found that Christians are better at talking about and giving money to the poor or those we consider in need in any variety of ways much more than we are willing to get involved in actual lives and care for these same people. I say "we" because I find a fair amount of fault in myself on this one.

Christians are not willing to engage in thoughtful intellectual discussion. I find this one especially the case in "hot topic" areas. It is much easier to slam the door on the discussion than to engage and think and reason through. My thought is that this has a lot to do with fear.

Christians' primary concerns are fighting abortion and homosexuality. These are both hot-button areas and as such tend to get a lot of attention from media. I think the perception can easily be these are the issues for Christians.

What Christians should be known for

The bringing about of God's shalom, God's amazing peace and wholeness, to all of creation.

I'm captivated by what shalom means in the Bible and what that should then mean to followers of Christ today. What would life be if we viewed ourselves as God's peace-makers, as creators of wholeness and rightness within our world. Not in the sense of conquering and teaching right ways to others, but in serving?

Now, I tag:

Katie
Brad
Pastor Jim