Where are we going again? A look at Deuteronomy 8

I distinctly remember being 15 years old and sitting in my room in our little rental house in Missoula, MT. The carpet as an old green shag and the window looked out to a pretty garden and the hills just outside the city. I opened my Bible, daring God to show me that he actually had a plan in the chaos of my life. We were just a couple nights away from our 3rd move in 2 years. That would be four different states and a total of five different Junior High and High Schools in that same period. I was angry and overwhelmed.

I flicked the Bible open to Deuteronomy, thinking God was going to have a pretty rough time talking to me through THAT book of the Bible. Little did I know...

I opened up to Deuteronomy 8 and stopped at verse 7, utterly amazed at what I read.

I am bringing you to a good land; a land of stream beds full of water, a land of springs and deep rivers flowing out from the valleys and the hills. (my translation).

That's one moment in my life that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God cared about me. I was an insecure, self-absorbed, desperate teen and God cared enough about me to meet me in that corner room with the shag carpet, to comfort me and let me know that despite the unknown and my personal fears, God was bringing me to a good place. And it was just that. It was a good place.

In the book of Deuteronomy, the people are called to "remember" what God has done for them over and over again. God had miraculously worked on behalf of the Hebrew people in bringing them out of Egypt, in providing for them in the wilderness and was now preparing them to enter the land of promise. The call to remember was essentially a call to worship. Remembering what God has done plays the same role in our lives. As I look into our future wondering what it will entail and feel those same sensations of insecurity I did way back when, I also remember the times God met me and guided me in the past. I can trust God. I know that the place I am going will be a "good land."

More thoughts on Deuteronomy 8 to come...

Cool Stuff

It's cool for me anyway...

Yesterday and today, I taught the weekend services at our church. I'm incredibly wiped out this afternoon...three services is a lot. But, my soul is satisfied. It is an amazing experience to dig into the Bible, share what I've learned with a group of people and somehow have it be more than simply my words. It's been an amazing experience and I am very thankful for the opportunity.

Conversation on the Way to the Movies

My almost 7-year-old: Mom, does God know everything I'm going to do?

Me: Explain to me what your thinking, please.

7 year old: Well, does God control us kind of like a puppet or a remote control car?

Me: People have different interpretations of what scripture says about that. Some people believe that God knows every decision we're going to make and others believe that God gives us freedom to make decisions and then works with the decisions we make to fulfill God's purposes.

7 year old: What do you believe, Mom?

Me: I believe that God allows us to make decisions and then works with those decisions.

7 year old: I think I believe both.

Me: Really. Explain that to me.

7 year old: Well, God puts thoughts in our head to help us make the right decisions. So, that helps us make God's decisions and still make up our own mind. Hey, Mom! I just created a 3rd option. My option includes everyone.

Me: Wow.

(We finished the evening off with watching Horton Hears a Who...fitting after our conversation).

Learning Styles, Modern Boxes & Christian Responsibility

I mentioned in a recent post my process of motherhood and learning to understand and appreciate the way my middle child does life.

Nate has been diagnosed with learning disabilities, mostly in the area of motor development, but we're also monitoring him for what is called "motor planning." Motor planning is the process of organizing items or ideas sequentially or in logical order. For instance, if you ask Nate, "Why do you use an umbrella?", his answer will likely be, "So you don't get wet." Well, according to the system, the appropriate answer is "Because it's raining." There was a step in the process that was missed...the rain needs to be mentioned before the getting wet part.

So, this brings me to a book I've been reading, Intuitive Leadership by Tim Keel. In this book, Keel tells a bit of his own story and that of his church, Jacob's Well, in Kansas City. He talks about the process of moving within a traditional church model and having an ongoing sense of discomfort. This discomfort urged him, forced him, to do church differently than how he had previously experienced it. Keel has some great thoughts in his book and I consider it a excellent synopsis of several ideas and practices in the emerging church movement. There is one area, though, that stopped me.

On page 126, Keen, drawing on the writings of Neil Postman and Marshall McLuhan, summarized three crises in Western educational systems. The first of these occurred in the 5th century BC, when Athens moved from an oral to written tradition. Moving from a culture of iconic images and stories to writing eventually, combined with the printing press, developed in the 16th century (the 2nd crisis) strongly contributed to a very left brain approach to learning. Getting to the point, on page 130, Keel states "It turns out that linear, sequential, analytic ways of knowing are processed in one part of our brain, or more accurately one hemisphere of our brain; the left hemisphere. Over the last several hundred years that make up modern history, the right brain was left to atrophy. In the emerging culture of the postmodern world we occupy, the use of the right hemisphere of the human brain is making a comeback."

Now, back to Nate. About November of last year, he started begging us to let him play piano. So, I finally signed him up for a "Little Mozart's Music Class" through our local recreation center. In the period of 5 weeks I have seen things click for Nate in a way I have never seen this happen. He loves music, he begs to practice and do his music homework, he never complains about it. Amazingly to me, the stuff that is clicking in music is immediately transferring over to other areas. His writing and coloring skills and his attention span have both improved significantly. Besides that, I see confidence and insight that I knew existed in him, but hadn't really seen manifest itself. For instance, our keyboard has several pre-programmed songs in it. One of them is "What Child is This?". The song is in a minor key. One day Nate was playing around on the keyboard and when this song came on, he looked at me and said, "Mom, this is a sad song, isn't it?" He also now makes up stories to go with the music we're listening to.

It was my turn to have something click. Nate's "disabilities" have been labeled such because he does not fit into the educational/learning boxes currently available through public schools. The goals set up in most of today's school environments are driven by left brain processing. In this way, by labeling Nate with a disability, he is given the help he needs to exist in an environment that is not his natural home. In reality, Nate does not so much have a disability as a different approach to learning and doing life. Nate's answer to why you need an umbrella is the right answer. Just because he didn't get to it through the same process as I might, doesn't negate it's truth.

It makes me realize anew how easy it is to make a category and label anything outside that category as unusual, odd, or simply wrong. It's a pretty natural thing to create those boxes. It might be, as in Nate's case, education. It could be a myriad of other things. My job as Nate's mom is to be his advocate, the person who understands him and balances some odd line of encouraging him and also working with the system on his behalf. It's certainly not a fine science, but it's ongoing goal.

I wonder if that's part of what we are called to as Christians. Understanding that boxes don't always work and that their are people who don't fit and need our help. They might be outside our churches, I'm pretty sure they're sitting in our churches. I know that I often fall into that category.

The Birds of the Air

The kids are all down for naps this afternoon. We had a busy day yesterday and I know they're exhuasted, as am I.

I'm sipping a cup of coffee and looking out the window at our robin cozied up in her nest. Last year this robin made her nest at the roofline straight out our front door. She spent about a week gathering leaves, branches and such making a soft little bed for her and her babies. We can see directly down into the nest from my sons' bedroom window. We saw the three blue, speckled eggs, the wide-open hungry mouths of the baby birds, demanding food from mommy. They grew fat and fluffy until one day they stood on the edge of the nest, tentatively beat their wings and then flew away. We did not see them again...

Until about three weeks ago. The momma came back. She rebuilt the nest that sagged on the eaves from the heavy winter snow. She nestled herself into it, making sure of the right fit. And now she's waiting for her babies to grow big enough inside the eggs to make their appearance into the world.

As I watch her, I think of the scripture in Matthew, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matt. 6:25-26 TNIV)

What is it to not worry in this context? I've always assumed it meant just to not worry, that God can take care of me, so I should trust him. It seems that reading it in context the "worry" here could also serve a broader category. In Matthew 5, we have the Sermon on the Mount, the Beattitudes and the beginning of almost three chapters of instruction and teaching by Jesus. He teaches on the fulfillment of the law, addresses murder and adultery of the heart, he chastises the Pharisees for their outward dilligence to the law without the right inward attitude.

Knowing that Jesus has just taught that the law has been fulfilled and begins to subvert the Law, as understood by the Pharisees, with a law of the heart in Jesus, what does trusting God look like? Just a few verses later, Jesus says, " Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; those who seek find; and to those who knock, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matt 7:7-12, TNIV)

I think it all goes back to the state of our heart. I think Jesus is challenging those he is teaching to move past all the externals by which people measure successful faith and adherence to law. A changed life will not be found there. This "faith thing" is not a part-time hobby nor is it based on actions we perform. It's about the barest, most naked and ashamed parts of me opened to the One who provides change and hope and love. "Do not worry," God says, "If I care for this little robin, will I not care for you, the one whom I've made in my image, in my likeness, the one I formed in her mother's womb and laid out her days before her?"

God, as you care for this robin who finds a safe place in the eaves of our home, I ask you to work in my heart to trust you to care for me as well.

Emerging Women's Gathering Recap

I just returned yesterday from the Emerging Women's Gathering in Oregon, IL. The gathering was organized and hosted by Julie Clawson & Sarah Notton, who did a fabulous job! Thanks, ladies!

The theme for the weekend was "Reimagining the Kingdom" and we had a lot of fun doing so in an actual castle. I was able to hook up with friends I met last year at the gathering outside Indianapolis, meet in person friends I've made via the Emerging Women's blog as well as meet some wonderful new friends.

As usual, it's difficult for me to put into words what times like this weekend mean to me. I went expecting, but also knowing that to receive, I needed to actively engage in the time as well. For an introvert in a new place, that can sometimes be difficult for me. But, enter and engage I did! I even tried sushi for the first time (not necessarily a spirtual thing, but fun and quite tasty)!

Through the course of the weekend, we were led in some new worship experiences including centering prayer, lectio devina, body prayer and the labyrinth. I enjoyed so much the wonderful freedom and reimagining of life and God that comes simply through stepping out in new experiences and finding God there.

As I remember the times I shared with the other women over meals, in workshops and just hanging out, I am profoundly grateful. It is beautiful when women share and encourage and engage each other in their spiritual jouneys. It's also an incredible experience to be in the midst of incredibly intelligent women discussing theology and the impact that theology has on our day-to-day activities; the process of reimagining and bringing that vision into reality within our lives. I am blessed to know that as I continue on my journey, my arms are linked with others who support me as I support them in our journey together.

Milestone: Growing Up

Today we've experienced a new step of freedom and independance.

As of today, all our children are in big kid beds. We purchased bunk beds for the boys two weeks ago. They moved out of their little kid beds into the world of the big boys and the fight over the top bunk. For some reason, that did not hit me as hard as moving Elianna into her big girl bed today. I had almost decided to pack the bed away for a few more months until my husband decided he thought it was a great day to purchase the mattress and get everything set up.

Elianna was thrilled. It's almost as if we gave her a throne on which to rule the household...which is probably not far from the truth in her mind. I got to see her face light up as she asked, "My bed?" and we answered, "Yes, your bed." I am constantly amazied by the wonder of the world through the eyes of a child. Wonder was definitely the look on her face as we presented this gift, both the physical bed and the freedom of being a "big girl" in this way.

In the midst of her joy, I also felt a profound sadness. This is it. No more cribs around here. I don't have babies anymore. I have three incredible, inventive children, but no more babies. In a sense, I'm growing up too. I'm learning the life of a mother of preschool and school age children. This is not just a milestone for my daughter, it's a milestone for me. It seems like as parents we become, at least in part, defined by the milestones of those who are the driving force in our life.

Tonight, we peaked in on Elianna, sound asleep in her new bed. She was in the same position I left her in when I kissed her good night; her dark hair fanned out around her sweet face; an incredible peace and contentment as she rested in this new bed. Then we peaked in on the boys, Aaron curled up on the top bunk and Nate sucking away on his thumb on the bottom. I'm so grateful for each of them. The way they bless me and the way they challenge me. We are family. I guess it makes sense for us to grow up together

A Compliment

I received probably the most meaningful compliment of my life today.

While speaking with my mom on the telephone, I mentioned I was again trying my patience by cooking with my children. This time it was chocolate chip cookies. Shortly after, my mom called my Grandma and during the course of their conversation mentioned I was cooking with my kids. My Grandma, the woman who raised 6 children, made their clothes, cooked, cleaned and performed home-making duties to a degree I would never dream, responded, "Bless her heart! I could have never done that with my children."

I'm not all that great at this mothering thing. I measure my failures much more frequently than my successes. Tonight, though, I'm basking in the glow of my grandmother's approval and esteem. Thank you, Grandma.

Perspective

I branched out past my comfort zone today and made muffins with my kids. Making muffins wasn't really the big deal, it was letting all three of my children help. I wish I could say I'm patient, but if I did, it would be a blatent lie. Between fighting over whose turn it is, spilling flour on the floor or putting sticky fingers in whatever it is we are making, I usually feel like I'm in a zoo with wild monkeys when I let them help. But we had a great time working together this morning. I'm glad I branched out.

As we were taking turns measuring pooring and mixing, I was letting Aaron, my oldest go first since he was closest to me. I was thinking to myself that I needed to let the others go first. So, when we went to stir in the cranberries, I gave the wooden spoon to Nate. Aaron then completely surprised me. He said, "Mom, I never get to go first." I was dumbfounded. Where had he been for the last 5 steps of our process? He got to go first each time.

He didn't remember though. It was when he was picked to go second that he paid attention to the order of turn-taking. It made me think. So many times I get protective of me; of where I'm at in a social situation, of how God or others are "treating" me. I wonder if I'm that blind to the real situation. I'm guessing I am.

Hmmm...

The Emotionally Healthy Church and Grieving

I've just finished a book called "The Emotionally Healthy Church". The book was recommended to me by my coach for the NCD process at our church.

It's a pretty good book, with the overarching premise that you cannot grow spiritually if you are not growning emotionally. Basically, you can do all the good in the world, but if not for the right reasons, you're not really growing spiritually.

There is one thought in the process that has captured my thoughts for the last week; Grieving is a gift given to me by God to deal with life's disappointments and hurts.

It's been a pretty rough few months for me. This fall we found out that one of our kids has a delay in motor development, possibly motor planning. My dad was in the hospital for 2 weeks as a result of a bad retroperiteneal bleed, my brother just had back surgery again and my husband's health has deteriorated as he's attempting a new treatment for diabetes. All of this in addition to trying to maintain a very busy life with our kids and too much commitment at church. I've pushed on in everything despite being tired, feeling overwhelmed and often times angry.

I have not allowed what has happened around me to penetrate my soul and incorporate it into who I am. I've held in on the outside, as if somehow it doesn't touch me. I'm not effected by it. I have not grieved.

I'd like to say I can press on, but that's just not true.

I am sad that Nate's developement is within the "normal" category. Actually, quite frankly, I'm disappointed that he's not at the top of the curve. The ability to get things done and general intelligence stuff is a big deal in my family. We're pretty competitive that way. Nate is very smart, but his way of doing life won't fit into most people's boxes. I'm sad about that. Not fitting into people's boxes can make life rough. I don't want that for him. And yet, when I put it on paper (so to speak) I don't really want him to fit in a box anyway. I really just want him to be happy. Right now he is. So, as I grieve, I want to show him that I love him for who he is, not who I wish he was.

I grieve for my dad, who has always been the picture of health. We all pray he will be that again. But in the process, I have new awareness that my parents are aging and I think it stinks! I want to have them forever, but I am learning to truly enjoy them now.

I grieve for my brother and his family. Life has dealt them a series of blows and I'm pissed of about it. They need time to heal. They need time to learn to deal with the "little" things in life, rather than always dealing with crises. I pray for them peace and strength. I pray that I can support and not feel responsible for who they become in the process.

I grieve for Eddie. Eddie's the coolest guy and the most incredible husband. I want health for him. I feel angry that he has to deal with this disease and that as a result, our family does as well.

So, with my dirty laundry on the table, the question I have for myself is how do I incorporate these disapponitments into my life rather than continuing to push them out? I'm not quite sure. I've started with a good cry. Hopefully God will meet me here.

Wisdom and Selflessness

I am currently working on two areas of personal growth (ongoing of course, but I'm particularly aware of the work they need at the moment)!

The first is wisdom...or in my case, lack thereof. In the past year, I feel literally drenched in new ideas and insights. Intrinsically, I knew there was a big world of ideas "out there", but felt very unsure as to whether I could delve into that world and still be a Christ-follower. For instance, can you really be a Democrat and a Christian. (By the way, I really hate admitting this. I've always thought of myself as pretty open, but I apparently the measuring stick I was using to judge my openness was pretty short). The ideas and concepts that have formulated within me and that God is addressing in my personal life seem to always be bubbling at the surface. They are constantly in my thoughts. I look out at the world with new glasses...I see clarity, I feel peace. Then, I look at people around me and I want desparately to share my glasses. I'm finding that "share" is not quite descriptive of what I want to do, though. It's usually wrip off their glasses and quickly shove mine on their face. This is where I desperately need wisdom to grace my attitudes, actions and relationships. The Divine has reached into my life and opened a world of hope. I want others to journey with me. But, it doesn't seem to be working well to drage them along. Fighting appears ineffective in sharing this hope...hmmm...who would've imagined? So, how do I share? When do I share? When do I press harder? Wisdom. Highly necessary.

The second is selflessness. You see, I have this mission, this vision...for me. Yikes. There it is. In writing. God spoke into my life a call to ministry almost a year ago. Looking back, it is obvious to me that this call has been in place for a long time, but last October, I really heard it. I could no longer deny it. In taking on the identity of a woman called into ministry, I have also taken on a battle, though. No, it's not always that. Most times there is tremendous encouragement. But in a conservative, fundamentalist-leaning evangelical community, there are certainly those that believe women are not cut out for church ministry. I've been fighting this battle for me, for my own self-esteem and my own acceptance. It's been all about proving I'm right or that I'm OK. That God really does love me. It's not that the issue doesn't need addressed. It's all about my attitude and motivations. Do I want esteem for me, to glorify me and my talents or do I want the God of the Universe and Caretaker of my Soul to be glorified? Am I called to be served, acknowledged and provided for or am I called to serve, acknowledge and provide for others? I think the answers to those questions are self-evident.

This girl has some work to do.

Growing Up

It's amazing to me how often I revert to the same behavior I see in my children. Of course, my children's behavior is most likely a result of me. In fact, my middle kiddo does this really annoying grunt a me whenever he doesn't like what I've asked him to do. I was getting really upset, but then I found myself doing the same thing to him. Not quite sure who's influencing who...

Well, anyway, I'm attempting "grown-up" behavior. Good luck to me, eh?

Entirely Possible?

It's been a good week. Despite a crazy, busy schedule, Thursday night was a family jam/dance session in the basement and last night was wrestling mania. I feel balance when "work" (in all it's various forms) is balanced with familiy needs.

I've been thinking about that balance this week after reading an article in a minstry journal. The particular volume is focused on women in ministry, but this article is titled, "What's a Ministry Wife To Do?" I found the title interesting considering the focus of the volume, so decided to read more. Much of what was said was valuable; we all have a story, our call to serve people in ministry comes from following those who have taught us and from jumping in ourselves, that the most important people in the world are those we're called to serve.

My sensitivies were aroused when I read the following; "My mother, an ordained minister, took seriously the preaching and teaching part of ministry, but you can be sure the roast beef dinner was ready to adorn the pre-set table right after Sunday morning service. She did it all and loved it." The article was closed out with, "An integration of ministry and family is entirely possible."

Probably as a result of my current commitments, I'm not so sure about that integration being possible or whether it looks like what this particular author has described. My mom was terrific at having Sunday dinner ready. I, on the other hand, lean towards left-overs from Friday's pizza nights or PB&J sandwhiches for after-church fare. I don't think I can manage the role of perfection in all these areas. In fact, I'm pretty sure I can't come close!

I do know that what I do, I want to do in service to God. Some days that means my family gets less of me so that I can fulfill needs in another area. Other days, ministry and other work commitments are laid to the side so that I can be an effective mom and wife. Integration, for me, is an ongoing and constant challenge and most of the time I feel pulled in several directions and feel as if I am not doing well in anything.

So, is integration possible? I would say yes...but the integration balances out in weeks/months sometimes rather than hours or minutes. Is it "entirely possible"? I'm thinking not so much.

Focus

"...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admmirable-if anything is excellent or priaseowrhty-think about such things." - Phillipians 4:8

This week, I have been prone to saturate myself in thoughts that don't measure up to this verse of scripture. My brother has been asking me to read the outline for a paper that talks about living "outside the body". I think the ability to dwell on noble, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praise-worthy thoughts does force one to move outside of his or her self, outside normal thought patterns and begin to view circumstances and situations from the viewpoint of God. When perspective changes from self-centered to other-centered, I look at situations differently and accordingly, I act different. I want to think different...I want to act different.

Where Do You Dump Your Junk?

Where do you dump your junk? That's my question of the day. Maybe the week, month or year at this point!

This particular thought entered my mind, I think by God's divine intervention, while writing in my journal this morning. You see, yesterday I took my son Nate in for a follow up evaluation on speech development. He is in the bell-curve, but definately border line on the bottom. As we drove home together in the car after a stop at Starbuck's to enjoy some mommy-son time, I struggled with my desires for Nate's success in life. Not that the speech delay will necessarily be a big deal...but the stubbornness in his little personality may very well! I want the very best for Nate. Ultimately, he makes his own decisions, though. As parents, Eddie and I guide him and walk with him through life, but he will be responsible for the decisions he makes.

Nate's stubborness manifested itself in a gruesome way upon our return home. He chose, for the hundreth time, not to use the potty for his excretory functions...twice. My frustration mounted. We've been working on this issue now since January and the child has no intention of cooperating with our grand plan of freedom for him in this area of his physical development! As I was writing this in my journal this morning, lamenting my potty-training woes, a thought forced it's way into my mind, "Amy, where do you dump your junk?"

Frankly, I was flabergasted! First, who knew God could speak to me in the midst of such crude functions of life? Second, ouch! That hurt! I am as bad as my son in this area, actually worse since he's 3 1/2 and I'm 32. God wants me, is trying to teach me, to rely on him. He knows what's best for me and desires for me to make the right choices in my life. He wants me to mature, to grow. And yet, when difficult times come my way, I don't turn to my Creator. For that matter, I often don't turn to him during the good times of life, either. Instead, I rely on myself, friends, vegging out at the computer. I'm not good at releasing my issues and joys to the one who created me, the one who has promised to stay with me, to comfort me, to nourish me, to help me grow.

I've been dumping my junk in the wrong place, too. God wants the best for me and I have continued doing life my way.

The difference between God & me in this potty-training metaphor is the way we deal with the offending party! Poor Nate got an earful yesterday of why my way was right! God, on the other hand, spoke love and healing to my heart.

It's Been A While

Wow...when I logged on and realized it's been two months since I've been on, I laughed! Obviously, I haven't had much time to "stop" lately! :)

It's been a busy two months and I'm learning some important lessons. My growth group discussed what God is teaching each of us last week. It's been a while since I've thought about that. After reflection, I think I'm learning to wait. I've spent the last couple months frustrated at trying to pursue ministry and still meet the needs of my family. The family has lost out and as a result, so have I. I am now trying to refocus. Really, my success with my husband and children will be no match for success anywhere else in life. It's just really difficult to reconcile that with diaper changing...especially for our 3 1/2 year old that seems determined to use pull-ups forever!

I am really excited about my growth group! Four of us are meeting about every other week and we're starting to form a stable foundation. The relationships are beginning to gel and trust is being built. I'm also excited about our new life group. We're reading the book "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. The group is very open and has a great mix of people in various stages of their spiritual journey.

I'm waiting, but I already see things happening. Not such a bad place to be.

Emerging Women's ReGathering

I returned last night from an emergent women's "re-gathering" in McCordsville, IN. It was an incredible weekend for me. I can't help but think of the line in a popular older worship chorus stating, "This is holy ground, I'm standing on holy ground. For the Lord is present and where He is is holy."

This weekend was holy ground for me. God was present in my life in a way that is near impossible to communicate in words, but here are a few that begin the process: confirmation, permission, acceptance, peace, direction. I am learning to confidently and humbly proclaim that God has called me to be a pastor. This journey may be long and fraught with both challenges and joys, but it is not a call from which I can turn. So I accept the call and rejoice in the fact that as I walk this road, I am not alone.

Family

We flew back home yesterday after a 4-day weekend visiting in-laws in Phoenix. The weather there was lovely and we had a terrific time, with the exception of a few mishaps along the way. Besides almost loosing a laptop, a potty-training disaster and a swallowed transformer part, we also went without naps for the weekend...anyone with young children knows that can be a disaster in the making. But, in spite of all this we enjoyed swim time in their pool, sight-seeing and most of all hanging out with family.

That is actually the beauty of family. We can have a bad day, a bad week or a bad year and we stick with each other because that's what it's all about. Developing that type of relationship outside the family is much more difficult. It's so easy to give up when things get tough. It's usually easier to walk away when there are no future family functions to endure together! I know I struggle with that.

I'm going to be part of a "Life Transformation Group" with 3 other ladies beginning next week. It's kind of an accountability group. I'm interested to see how this goes. Will this be the start of a true, life-giving relationship with these women? I hope so.

A Place to Start...and Stop

A Stopping Spot. That's pretty much what I need in my life right now. A place to stop. A place to think. You see, I keep pretty busy. I'm a wife, a mother of three, a friend, a worker, a "domestic engineer" (what a title, eh)!

And in the midst of this day to day life, I'm discovering Life. Life given through Jesus Christ. Or rather, Life through Jesus is finding me. I've actually been a Christian for most of my life. I'm not rebellious by nature, so never turned away from my faith to find myself. But I started a journey last Fall while chairing a committee on women in ministry at my church that has captured my mind...and my heart. It seems that there are many people on this same journey and I'm excited to join them.

This is my stopping spot. My opportunity to think out loud, or in this case, in black-and-white.