What I Will Tell My Children

Tonight I participated in a very moving ceremony at our church entitled "Rites of Passage". For the last few years our church has sought to include youth in the corporate life of the church. Rites of Passage is the beginning of this quest. Over the course of a weekend, a youth (age 13-20 something) and her parents attend several special meetings culminating in a ceremony on Monday night with the congregation that welcomes her into adulthood. The youth have an opportunity to pray with their parents, with board members and with the pastor. It is truly powerful to participate in this process with these youth.

My heart soared tonight.

The speaker called the young men to stand and spoke into their lives. He called them to be men of responsibility, men with whom the women at the church could feel comfortable and safe. He called them to be warriors. He said they were made in God's image and God was a Warrior.

The speaker called the young women to stand and spoke into their lives. He called them to be women of virtue, princesses, daughters of the King. He told them that they should guard themselves lest they cause God's warriors to stumble. He encouraged them to behave modestly and to dress modestly. He told them that there were parts of their bodies only their husbands should ever see and that they shouldn't wear pants too low or shirts too low-cut. He didn't tell the young women that they are made in God's image. He didn't tell them a lot...

My heart broke tonight.

I wanted to stand and tell them! I wanted to hold their faces in my hands, look into their eyes and tell them that they are created in the image of God! Someone tell them that they are called to be God's warriors! They are called to love with God's unending compassion. They are called to so much more than they were told tonight. I know that's what our church body wants to tell them as well. It's just that so often conservative Christianity has underlying assumptions that we don't think about. We don't think about the subtle and not-so-subtle messages we give our children and how their faith is formed around these messages.

Tonight, I think of what I will tell my children; my two sons and my daughter:

You are created in the image of the Divine God. God has called you. You are to be passionate and you are to be strong in character. You are to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves and you are to shelter them under your wings like a mother hen. God wants you to use your gifts, the gifts given by him, to serve others and show them his mercy and love. You are to give of yourself in order to be made whole. You are called.

I pray for my all my children a faith strong enough for doubt, a will that seeks without end and a heart that loves without boundaries.

5 Things You Didn't Know about me

I thought it would be fun to join in on the "5 things" as tagged on EW...

1. I've lived in 6 different states (Washington, Idaho, Montana, Utah, Missouri and Colorado) and moved over 20 times in my mere 30-somthing years. This including living in 4 states in the matter of two years between 8th and 10th grades. This has resulted in an overall longing for stable relationships in my life as well as a pretty strong reliance on myself...two things that don't gel all that well.

2. I married a hispanic man, thus giving my children the skin-tone I always wish for! (I'm a red-head, thus meaning most people need to wear sunglasses when looking my way as I strut my stuff in a swimsuit)!

3. My most embarassing moment was while working as a secretary at a church and the youth pastor went to pull a hair off my the back of my shirt, only to have me yelp "Ow!" Apparently the 3-inch long specimen was attached...

4. I'm a bit of a nerd at heart. I love reading, thinking and discussing philosophy and theology. I used to get frustrated that I wasn't skilled at sports or other stuff that my friends seemed to be into, but am learning to really appreciate and embrace who I am and what I do well.

5. I was once voted most likely to become the first woman General Superindent (I think that's the name of head office) for the Assemblies of God. He, he, he! This, of course, was not from a reliable organization, yet the dream lives on... :)

A Compliment

I received probably the most meaningful compliment of my life today.

While speaking with my mom on the telephone, I mentioned I was again trying my patience by cooking with my children. This time it was chocolate chip cookies. Shortly after, my mom called my Grandma and during the course of their conversation mentioned I was cooking with my kids. My Grandma, the woman who raised 6 children, made their clothes, cooked, cleaned and performed home-making duties to a degree I would never dream, responded, "Bless her heart! I could have never done that with my children."

I'm not all that great at this mothering thing. I measure my failures much more frequently than my successes. Tonight, though, I'm basking in the glow of my grandmother's approval and esteem. Thank you, Grandma.

Cinderella Story

I've been reading a lot of princess stories...to my own little princess. It's amazing how long she sits still for a princess story.

But, as I'm reading it, I'm trying to reconcile to myself whether a cute story is just that, a cute story. Or, is it more? What am I teaching my daughter as I read the the pages of an innocent child's story?

For instance, the first pages of Cinderella tell of a little girl horribly wronged by her nasty stepmother and step sisters. And yet, in the midst of these wrongs, she remains kind an sweet. And in the end, the magic works her way and her life turns out perfect. It's all of our dreams, right? We're nice and we get what we want in the end. Yet how real is it? Not very.

My real question is how do you raise a little girl to be strong, passionate, sweet and give her the freedom to be who she is as a woman? Princess stories don't seem to cut it. So many girl stories are about sweet girls that pine for a lovely life married to a handsome man. Wanting a great man and a family is not so bad, it's just that it's not all there is.

How do I teach my daughter and sons to value the contributions, strengths and visions of men and women?