God and Boundaries

I've always been a big believer in personal boundaries. In part, this is a result of being an introvert. I place pretty big boundaries around myself both in regard to time and emotional or intellectual sharing.

God seems to have gotten a hold of my boundaries this week. As my family walks through some tough times, I've been thinking about how to protect myself from the responsibility I feel or that I feel others expect from me. In the past, I've felt quite justified in placing these boundaries around myself and my immediate family. This time, though, I feel as if I've walked into a wall. Each time I attempt to walk forward with my plan, I am abruptly stopped. After many tries, I resigned myself to ask God, "What's up?" Much to my chagrin, I felt the answer to my question was, "When did I put up walls as I died on the cross for you?"

What...really...what do you say to that?

In my case, I said nothing. I sat down on the floor with my mouth hanging open and my heart sinking to the pit of my stomach. It was quite painful.

This scripture came to my mind as I contemplated my motivation and what God calls each of us to: "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you. 'You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But, I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for thos who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven...If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not event he tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matt. 5:38-48

If we are called to love, actively love, our enemies, how much more so are we called to sacrifice for those we do love? If Jesus gave his life for me while I was still tainted with sin, how much more should I give of myself, even when the giving is not recipricol, convenient or comfortable? As a follower of Christ, do I really think that I have a right to put up walls that say, "You can come this far into my life and no farther," or "I will help this much, but until you measure up to my standards, I won't do more?" I'm convinced I don't have this right...not at all.

The reason I don't have this right is that my motivation is self-centered, not other-centered as we are called to be as followers of Christ. I'm concerned about protecting me and not concerned with the very real needs of others around me.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not completely throwing boundaries out the window. Boundaries are essentially a good idea and quite necessary in navigating the variety of relationships each of us have in life. There are certainly times when very real and clear boundaries need to be put into place for the protection of ourselves or others around us. I am convinced, though, that I have abused the use of boundaries to serve myself rather than my Savior.

As I approach boundaries in the future, I pray for Divine wisdom as I seek the will of God and the service of others before the protection of my own comforts.