Stepping Stones

Our church is showing the Truth Project video series, sponsored by Focus on the Famiy. The videos are fairly well done. There are some things I don't agree with, or agree with the way in which it is presented, but it has been a challenging series for me as I watch, process and discuss the information within the group I'm part of for this series.

Last night's video was about history. Del Tackett, the speaker for the series, basically states that history has been or is being revamped by historical revisionists, who leave God out of the picture, or distort true history in order to prove a point. I thought it was pretty interesting, although I would add that often we as Christians do some historical distortion ourselves. I think that's part of history...the attempt to understand that history and then apply it within one's life.

Anyway, at the end of the video, Dr. Tacket quotes William Bradford, leader of the Pilgrims of the Plymouth colony. The quote states, "Last and not least, they (the Pilgrims) cherished a great hope and inward zeal of laying good foundations, or at least of making some way towards it, for the propogation and advance of the gospel of the kingdom of Christ in the remote parts of the world, even though they should be but stepping stones to others in the performance of so great a work."

Our discussion group had a terrific time mulling over this quote. The idea of my life being a "stepping stone" is so contrary to the individualist nature that permeates our culture today. We tend to see ourselves as islands, making our own destiny. Or maybe a moutain peak, resting on the shoulders of those who have gone before..but failing to recognize those who will come after.

There's amazing wisdom in acknowledging those who have gone before and those who will come after and humbly accepting a vision of being a "stepping stone" in history. Success, when defined in a vacuum, is personal and exclusive. It's about financial success, being "in the know" and very much individualistic in nature. Success, when viewed within history and a community of faith is much different. Financial success is balanced out against how the poor are cared for. Being "in the know" is balanced with love that acts upon knowledge for the benefit of those in need. Decisions today are made in conscious consideration of what has been done before and the impact these decisions will have on what comes after.

I struggle to view myself as a stepping stone. The very purpose of a stepping stone is that it be stepped on. Not all that appealling to me, quite frankly. But this thought also provides an odd freedom. I can see my life and my call in history, in community. My responsibility is not to change the world, but to stack my stone in the pile and let God change the world.

Holy Saturday

Having grown up within the Pentecostal church, we never really paid too much attention to Lent, Holy Week and such. It was pretty much all about the resurrection. This year, I've celebrated Lent and paid much closer attention to the church traditions as Easter has approached.

The resurrection is, of course, incredible...indescribable in what it means to a Christ-follower. It seems to me, though, that the magnitude of the resurrection is lost when not enconsed within the story of Christ's suffering and death.

I'm reminded of a book I recently read entitled How (Not) to Speak of God. In the book, he describes a community of Christ's disciples that upon his crucifixion pack up their belongings and head off. They form a new community far away and continue to follow the example of Jesus within that community. It is not until hundreds of years later that a missionary comes to their community and shares with them the story of the resurrection.

I wonder if I could do that. Could I live knowing that my savior, my rabbi was crucified and my dreams were crushed? As amazing as that story is, though, and the questions that it brings to my own heart, I also question whether that's missing the point. The resurrection is an integral part of God's plan for the redemption of humans to Godself.

For me, the critical middle ground lies in recognizing both the crucifixion and the resurrection. Apart from each other, the meaning of God's work on the earth cannot be adequately understood. Without understanding the suffering of Christ, we cannot begin to fathom the sacrifice and the love present in this amazing act. Without the resurrection, the redemption is incomplete and we are still bound to the law.

The following prayer is from The Divine Hours: Prayers for Springtime:

O God, creator of heaven and earth: grant that, as the crucified body of you dear son was laid to rest in the tomb and rested on this holy Sabbath, so I may await with him the coming of the third day, and rise with him to newness of life; who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

I pray for all blessings on this Holy Saturday and for God's presence in our lives as we consider both the horrendous crucifixion of Good Friday and the joyous celebration of Easter Sunday. Amen.

One of Those Weeks...

I know you've had 'em too. We all do.

This week has been mine. Aaron was on Spring Break, so having all the kids home was different than what I've gotten used to.

Elianna seems to have back-tracked after having been potty-trained for the last 6 months. I think it's just wanting to be independent and not have to have mom's help going, but let's just say I've cleaned up way too many puddles this week. May I say my patience has been tested and found to fail miserably??

Nate had an evaluation at Children's Hospital on Monday. They didn't tell us a whole lot we didn't already know. He has lax muscle tone and hyper-extended joints which effects his motor skills. The Doc also thinks that he has some motor planning delay. She did tell us that rather than being unmotivated, what he is able to accomplish is a testament to his will and determination. So, I guess that's good. I guess I was hoping that she would provide some concrete suggestions or next-steps, which she did not. We have some options to pursue ourselves, but have some discussion that needs to happen first. It's a fine line in providing the most intervention we can and loving Nate for who he is, an absolutely fabulous, intelligent and loving child.

Eddie's job stinks right now. It's just plain ol' high stress and constant "issues." My husband is terrific at handling stuff like that, but he can only handle so much. He tries so hard to make balance for me, so I've been trying to provide that for him this week and provide a safe, happy place at home. He deserves it!

So there you have it. I'm glad it's over and we have the weekend at home and a new week to start on Sunday.

Emerging Women's Gathering Recap

I just returned yesterday from the Emerging Women's Gathering in Oregon, IL. The gathering was organized and hosted by Julie Clawson & Sarah Notton, who did a fabulous job! Thanks, ladies!

The theme for the weekend was "Reimagining the Kingdom" and we had a lot of fun doing so in an actual castle. I was able to hook up with friends I met last year at the gathering outside Indianapolis, meet in person friends I've made via the Emerging Women's blog as well as meet some wonderful new friends.

As usual, it's difficult for me to put into words what times like this weekend mean to me. I went expecting, but also knowing that to receive, I needed to actively engage in the time as well. For an introvert in a new place, that can sometimes be difficult for me. But, enter and engage I did! I even tried sushi for the first time (not necessarily a spirtual thing, but fun and quite tasty)!

Through the course of the weekend, we were led in some new worship experiences including centering prayer, lectio devina, body prayer and the labyrinth. I enjoyed so much the wonderful freedom and reimagining of life and God that comes simply through stepping out in new experiences and finding God there.

As I remember the times I shared with the other women over meals, in workshops and just hanging out, I am profoundly grateful. It is beautiful when women share and encourage and engage each other in their spiritual jouneys. It's also an incredible experience to be in the midst of incredibly intelligent women discussing theology and the impact that theology has on our day-to-day activities; the process of reimagining and bringing that vision into reality within our lives. I am blessed to know that as I continue on my journey, my arms are linked with others who support me as I support them in our journey together.

Spring

Ahhh...if only I could write an "ode to Spring"...

It's a beautiful 70 degree day here in Colorado. It feels a long time coming this year since our winter had many more snow days and overall cloudy, winter weather than we've been used to over the last several years. The snow, once about 5 feet high in the back yard is now only a small patch of about 2 feet by 1 foot and about 4 inches high. The front has a bit more, but that will be gone shortly as well.

My kids and I ventured into the back yard to play after lunch today. While they busied themselves playing soccer and pretending to drive an ice-cream truck, I began cleaning dead leaves out of the garden area and trimming back perennials I should have taken care of last fall. The irises and tulips are poking through and the lilies are starting to show signs of life as well. My favorites, the peonies, will take a little longer. About the first of June they'll be in bloom with their large, hot pink flowers. They don't last long, but they sure make a great show!

Thank you, Lord, for Spring. Thank you for sunshine, for fresh growth, for hope.

Milestone: Growing Up

Today we've experienced a new step of freedom and independance.

As of today, all our children are in big kid beds. We purchased bunk beds for the boys two weeks ago. They moved out of their little kid beds into the world of the big boys and the fight over the top bunk. For some reason, that did not hit me as hard as moving Elianna into her big girl bed today. I had almost decided to pack the bed away for a few more months until my husband decided he thought it was a great day to purchase the mattress and get everything set up.

Elianna was thrilled. It's almost as if we gave her a throne on which to rule the household...which is probably not far from the truth in her mind. I got to see her face light up as she asked, "My bed?" and we answered, "Yes, your bed." I am constantly amazied by the wonder of the world through the eyes of a child. Wonder was definitely the look on her face as we presented this gift, both the physical bed and the freedom of being a "big girl" in this way.

In the midst of her joy, I also felt a profound sadness. This is it. No more cribs around here. I don't have babies anymore. I have three incredible, inventive children, but no more babies. In a sense, I'm growing up too. I'm learning the life of a mother of preschool and school age children. This is not just a milestone for my daughter, it's a milestone for me. It seems like as parents we become, at least in part, defined by the milestones of those who are the driving force in our life.

Tonight, we peaked in on Elianna, sound asleep in her new bed. She was in the same position I left her in when I kissed her good night; her dark hair fanned out around her sweet face; an incredible peace and contentment as she rested in this new bed. Then we peaked in on the boys, Aaron curled up on the top bunk and Nate sucking away on his thumb on the bottom. I'm so grateful for each of them. The way they bless me and the way they challenge me. We are family. I guess it makes sense for us to grow up together

Loving God vs. Loving Theology

This quote is from Jesus Creed, quoting Mark Allen Powell in another book (in progress, apparently at the time of writing):

We cannot have a relationship with our "christology" - we can
have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Our "soteriology" cannot save us from our sins - our Savior can.

Our "ecclesiology" does not make us one - the Lord of the Church does.

Our "eschatology" will not transform this flawed universe - Jesus the
King of King and Prince of Peace will do that.

And, no matter how much we love "theology" - it will never love us back.

McNight closes this chapter by stating, "Only God in Christ loves us, and that is why believing is a relationship."

How TRUE! So often I pursue knowledge about God over relationship with God. It's easier for me to think about God, his qualities and how he interacts with humanity. It's much more difficult to translate that into an intimate relationship where I lay myself before him, trusting in God, believing...truly believing.