"Footprints" and the absence of God

Tonight I spoke with a friend. She's had a few months of intense stuff going on. My friend is a carefree, fun-loving soul. But, life has been tough and she's tired...so very tired.

As we spoke tonight, I felt the heaviness of God's absence. The disappointment that the "answers" of the church were so empty to her right now. The loneliness in calling for God and not being able to find the sure hand to guide her through the darkness. God's love feels like a broken promise when we cry out for his presence and find ourselves instead, horribly, painfully alone.

I can't help but think of the poem "Footprints" in which the individual looks back at the sand through which he or she has just walked to find only one set of footprints and questions God for not walking alongside during a difficult time. God replies that he was carrying this individual. But why, I have to ask, does the person have to feel so all alone during the journey? It kind of makes me want to take one of those nicely framed footprint poems and give it a good smashing on my sidewalk.

I pretty much know the the answers...God's there but we can't just rely on our feelings. We live in a broken world due to Adam & Eve's sin. We'll be able to look back and see God's presence in the situation. These things are all true, at least in part, but they don't help a lick in the midst of the pain.

I don't have pat answers to give. I don't understand why there are seasons when sincere, heart-rending cries to God go unanswered. It ticks me off. And yet I still cry out to God. I stand by my friend and cry out with her...for her. God, make your presence known.

Good Report on Jacob

Our friends have a great report on the progress of their son, Jacob, who is in the midst of treatment for leukemia. Thank you for your continued prayers for this family.

It's Official!

Nope, not pregnant.

I received the official call from Denver Seminary yesterday with congratulations on my acceptance into the MDIV in Biblical Studies program. I wasn't all that worried about actually getting in, but it was a lot of fun to get that phone call and know that this venture (however long it may take me as I inch my way along) has now begun.

I'm a bit late for summer classes, but I'm hoping to get at least one in.

Hurray!

Book Review: Surprised by Hope

I recently finished reading Surprised by Hope: Rethinking Heaven, the Resurrection, and the Mission of the Church by N.T. Wright. I had not previously read Wright’s work and I have to say, I truly enjoyed his approach and his sense of humor. Dry humor and theology make a nice mix!

The primary point of the book is that Jesus’ resurrection is the pivotal, climatic point of God’s story with humankind and how we understand the resurrection directly impacts how we do faith.

Per Wright, Western Christianity has gotten caught up in a dualistic, Gnostic faith system that values those things of the spirit and disparages those of the flesh. This thought system has over centuries woven itself into our understanding of the resurrection, heaven and the mission of the church. Wright goes back to Jewish culture, the culture around the time of Jesus’ arrival and the writings of the New Testament to challenge the effects this Gnosticism has had on church theology.

One of my favorite paragraphs in the book is found on page 227:

The power of the gospel lies not in the offer of a new spirituality or religious experience, not in the threat of hellfire (certainly not in the threat of being “left behind”), which can be removed if only the hearer checks this box, says this prayer, raises a hand or whatever, but in the powerful announcement that God is God, that Jesus is Lord, that the powers of evil have been defeated, that God’s new world has begun.”

The resurrection is the first glimpse of heaven that bursts forth into the present; it is “new creation.” This new creation is already present, not just in a one-time decision to follow Jesus, but in transformed life.

For those of you who want to participate, how do you see this “new creation” working itself out in our lives in a way that goes against the dualist tendencies of Western Christianity?

Tonight, my kids and I talked about all the things that make God happy. They listed all the normal stuff of being nice to each other, obeying mommy and daddy, praying, but with a little prodding, they starting saying that God is happy when they’re silly, that God enjoys it when they watch the little house finches that visit the bird feeders out our front window or when they build cool stuff with their Legos. I like that they started getting the concept. I know I still struggle at times to consider time with my children as important as “devotions” or other “spiritual” stuff.

Surprised by Hope encompasses so much more than I’ve mentioned here, so if you’re interested, I encourage you to pick up a copy. It is well worth the read!

Planting Day

I'm heading down to my parents house this morning to plant our garden. When we landscaped our backyard, we made a small spot for a garden for us, but I have not been all that great since having children of actually keeping it up. My parents also have a nice big yard, so have created a couple raised beds. They'll be planting an apple and a pear tree later this year and hopefully by next year we'll have some raspberry plants as well.

Today we're planting a couple different kinds of tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, beans, carrots, tomatillos, peppers, squash and various herbs. Thrown in with that will be a mound of pumpkins and a mound of melon. I'm looking forward to gardening with my mom and my kids...and of the yummy harvest we'll have this fall. I don't think we'll have enough to do a lot of canning, so that might be from the local farmer's market. Either way, it's a start and a bit of our own adventure!

Prayer Request

Today close friends of ours found out that their 7-year old son has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. Our hearts ache with theirs and we ask you to join us in praying for Jake and his family; for strength for the coming journey, for an awareness of God's presence and ultimately, for Jake's health.

Another Meme... Six Random Things About Me

Today is catch up for me after a busy week and I've been tagged twice this week. So, rather than having to come up with an original thought of my own, I've decided to have what my son calls "Fun Friday". (This, apparently counts as my extra recess for the day).

Rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Share six random things about you.
3. Tag 5 people (or whatever you can).

This time around, Jemila tagged me.

1. I have a secret desire to be an artist.

2. I made it through 1st grade only using the bathroom during school time 3 times (I was so shy, I hated to raise my hand and ask to go).

3. I went to 4 different elementary schools, 2 junior highs and 3 high schools.

4. Between 8th and 10th grades, I lived in 4 different states.

5. My husband and I didn't meet in person until 6 months after we started our friendship/relationship, which was initiated by his aunt and uncle (who lived in the same state as me at the time). We talked on the phone and e-mailed for 6 months before meeting in person.

6. Eddie's aunt had given him a picture of me before our first contact, but all she would say to me about Eddie was that "He's not ugly, but he's not a hunk of a man." (BTW, my husband is quite the handsome man, but Olga knew I refused to date a guy who was my height or shorter...Eddie is 1/2 inch shorter than me)!

I tag


Michelle
Kate
Brad
Kathy

Have fun!

Meme - Six Word Memoir

I've been tagged by Michelle to participate in the Six Word Memoir meme:

1. Write the title to your own memoir using 6 words.
2. Post it on your blog.
3. Link to the person that tagged you.
4. Tag five more blogs.

By the way, I'm pretty much useless at condensing my thoughts to a short, comprehensive sentence! But, here's my go at it...

Walking Purposely, Sharing Generously, Seeking Always

I tag:

Happy
Jemila
Brad
Katie
Kathy

Waiting

A few weeks back, I referred to waiting (specifically, my poor success at it).

Back in March, I had a tough and very needed conversation with a friend and coach. In this conversation, I was challenged in some assumptions as well as the working out of some of my deepest hopes and dreams. It was painful as I had to look some stuff in the mirror and acknowledge my own weaknesses as well as some significant concerns I've had that I have attempted to just put to the side.

In the days following this conversation, I began to reorganize. I searched for options, formulated back up plans of all kinds and in general made myself miserable trying to control the circumstances around me. At that point, my spirit, and God's Spirit working in me said "wait." So I have.

About that time, I picked up a new book Finding My Way Home by Henri Nouwen. It's a little, easily read book. It also, unplanned by me, has a chapter entitled "The Pathway to Waiting". In this chapter, Nouwen draws an unlikely and powerful link between waiting and Christ's Passion, His death on the cross. He states,

Passion is a kind of waiting - waiting for what other people are going to do... Jesus went to Jerusalem to put people in a position where they had to say "Yes" or "No." That is the great drama of Jesus' passion; he had to wait for their response. What would they do? Betray him or follow him? In a way, his agony is not simply the agony of approaching death. It is also the agony of being out of control and having to wait. It is the agony of a God who depends on us to decide how to live out the divine presence among us. It is the agony of the God who, in a very mysterious way, allows us to decide how God will be God. Here we glimpse the mystery of God's incarnation. God became human not only to act among us but also to be the recipient of our responses.

The timing of this book was beautiful. I don't generally wait. I'm not a procrastinator and I love to check off boxes for completed assignments or projects. But, I feel that with this situation, I have taken a seat on the floor, legs crossed and hands open and asked my Creator, my Provider and my Friend to join me. We haven't talked much. Just sat side by side in a holy space, being. It has been an escape from my own drivenness and need to control. It has been a space for communion with the One who knows me best and a time of peace. In taking the time to wait, I have been able to acknowledge God who has waited for me. God has met me, comforted me, challenged me and brought wholeness to my spirit.

I know this time or style of waiting is coming to a close. My communion with God has become more active and circumstances require movement. I'm captivated by the lingering feeling of peace, though. Maybe there's a way to exist with one foot in the action necessary for the movement of life and another in this place reverent waiting.